The Weather

"You should stick to two topics - the weather and your health."

That was a quote from an amazing musical called My Fair Lady starring Audrey Hepburn. So anyway, I mainly came here because my blog told me that it was feeling neglected and suggested that it feed it some extra good words. Yes, my blog and I do correspond with each other. As you can see the title of this entry is "The Weather" and thats because I'm going to talk about the weather. :)
When I woke up this morning at 3 am I had glanced at my alarm clock and then almost unconsciously I wished that today would be windy. Well, have you been outside? Its a beautifully windy day....well at least it was up until about ten minutes ago. Right now there is a fantastic thunderstorm going on and im just in a great mood. :)
Ooh....just listen to that rain. :)
The one bad thing about rain is that rain means a flooded basement. Crap! I have laundry down there...oh well, at least its in the drier...it'll be a wrinkled mess when i go and collect it but I can just give it a little fluff and everything should be alright.
Ooh! Another great topic to talk about is my ultimate obsession and it goes by the name of Twilight!!! <3
Yes, I'm sure you all are sick and tired of hearing me obsess and croon over what I call 'the best book ever written in the history of the universe'... But! I have to tell you that i truly do love the book and not just because it had the hottest man ever created walking among its pages but also because Stephenie Meyer's writing is some of the best I've ever read. Her words flow and her dialogue is witty and its easy to relate to Bella in so many ways. It's also gives a new outlook on vampires and all the legends and stories about them and not only is it an amazing vampire-romance but its a spectacular and sweet and simple romance...highschool lovers almost. If you took away the fact that Edward is a vampire you'd see that their relationship is as ingenous as any relationship you'll ever find. I love this novel so much and its the only thing I've really been this obsessed over before....i mean i definitely get obsessive over quite a few things but this is the only one thats ever lasted through all the years. TWILIGHT = LIFE!!! <3
So I think I've finished for today. I hope my blogs tummy is filled with delicious goodness now :3
Love you guys!
A.Q.

A New Level of Squeedom!!

I dont know why but I'm in a fantabulously good mood today!!
Its not like it was a real special day or anything...in fact it was kinda a sucky day now that i think about it...XD
This morning i had to chase a cat who was having a stand-off with my cat and making those creepy hissy/growlee noises... >< And today was also school picture day >< I always dread pictures >< Ive yet to have a good school photo...>>'
My smiles always look so fake...
So anyway, despite today being a really crappy day i think it was the people that made it better :)
Have you ever talked to someone you've never talked to before and have a really good conversation with them? It was one of those kind of things. It was just an awesome day!! I laughed a lot and that always makes me feel so happy i wanna cry ><
especially lately...ive been feeling so stressed and every moment i felt like i was gonna burst into tears or have a strong urge to break something. But today i just felt free and happy and...well i was just so indescribebly happy!! I dont even know how to put it into words!! XD
But anyways i did something i've never done before today...>>'
I talked back to a teacher. Yes, I am what you could call a teacher's pet...its more like i dont want to have people whom i respect being disappointed in me but anyway...
We're doing archery in P.E. and we were just notching our arrows to the bow when a bee comes up and hits me in the corner of my eye...now i HATE bees and any normal person's reaction would be to jump back right? Well thats exactly what i did and apparently my coach didnt like the fact that i jumped back with a bow in my hand...
I understand where she's coming from--teachers have got to be extra careful about our safety and stuff but my hand wasnt on the string and my arrow was ponted to the ground--so when she yelled at me i was so upset that the words just popped out of my mouth with ease. She was talking about how i was swinging my bow around and maybe i was but i dont remember "swinging it around" and i told her in a not so nice tone (the one i usually use when im annoyed with my sister) that my arrow was pointed at the ground and of course she told me off again but i was just really upset.
Some of you may take the side of the coach but whatever. I have no repsect for that women and i believe that she should not be a coach--she has a crappy atitude and she seems like a "gym princess" and i hate those knds of people...she should be a personal trainer or maybe a cosmetics girl or whatever but she does not belong in a highschool teaching teenagers PE. She has not one spec of fun in her...i hate those people...and her smile never really reaches her eyes...but Im not gonna let her ruin my day!! *nyaaah* XP
So anyways im a very happy camper right now and i just wanted to share that fact with the people i love! *squee* :3
LOVE YOU GUYS!!
A.Q.

NANA

I've just watched what I'd like to call one of the best movies I have ever seen! A lot of you may not like it because it is a foreign film but there's something about foreign films I love. NANA is based off of a manga by Ai Yazawa that I read in my subscriptions of Shojo Beat.
Here's a plot summary from Wikipedia since I suck at summaries >x<:

Nana Osaki is a punk singer who wants to debut as soon as possible to leave her ex-boyfriend, Ren Honjo, behind. Nana was the lead vocalist in their old band with Ren, and they lived together as lovers. When Ren was offered a chance to debut in Tokyo as a replacement member of the popular band TRAPNEST (TRANES for short), Nana chooses to cultivate her own band, BLACK STONES (BLAST for short) instead.

Nana Komatsu, the other Nana, is called Hachi as she has strong mental characteristics that resemble a little puppy. ("Hachikō" is the name of a famous dog in Japan, while, appropriately, "hachi" is the word for "eight" in Japanese, while "nana" is the word for "seven".) With a habit of falling in love at first sight, Hachi has always depended on other people to help her. When her friends and then boyfriend leave for Tokyo, she decide to join them a year later after she saved enough money.

Nana and Hachi meet in a train by chance, both on their way to Tokyo, and after a string of coincidences, they come to live together in an apartment numbered 707. Despite having contrasting characters and ideals, the Nanas like and respect each other.

While the BLACK STONES begin to gain popularity at live gigs, other issues need resolving, especially in the areas of romance. The story of Nana revolves heavily on the romance and relationships of the two characters as one seeks fame and recognition while the other seeks love and happiness.

I really love this movie and seriously recommend it to everyone (although its not for every one...) I pulled some clips off of youtube from the movie. The first one is the very beginning of NANA. The second one is Nana O.'s band, the Black Stones performing. The third one is probably my favorite part in the whole movie and I cried during it but I recommend watching the whole movie in order to get the full effect of the clip.
So...I just wanted to share a new obsession of mine :)
Lotsa Love,
A.Q.


The Beginning:




The Black Stones:




Farewell to Love:

Mindless Ramblings

Hullo!
Sorry I havent posted in awhile its just i havent felt....inspired enought to write a post but i'm bored and tired so its a perfect combination for the making of a post! :)
So I'm going on vacation a week from tomorrow! We're driving down to North Carolina (an 11/14 hour trip...) and we have to bring our cousin with us because he's visiting a friend down there and my aunt and uncle can only pay for a one way plane ticket. It kinda stinks though because my sister and I were looking forward to finally having the car for ourselves for the first time but now we have to share again (i sound like a little brat dont i?) I keep trying to think of the brightside to it all and all i can think of is 'Thank god for rest stops!'
I've been saving up a lot of money to bring on this trip but i also want to set aside money for this DVD set. It's the second season of my favorite J-drama, Hana Yori Dango and I love the Japanese actor who plays Tsukasa Domyoji in it. (I have a thing for hot asian guys XD)
I've watched the whole first season on youtube and crunchyroll but neither have the second season which looks the best! ><
I want it so bad. And then The next book in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer is coming out on August 7 and I definately need that!!!! I'm one the original and biggest fans! I dont want to sound like im bragging because i hate how people either get competitive or hateful when you brag but....
I had read the book when it was on the 'new book shelf' at our public library then i bought it and read it again. And i was the one who introduced it to the freshman school by bringing it up in books and bagels and spreading the word! So im very excited for when Eclipse comes out but im gonna be on vacation then so....I get to read it then...
Well....I've kinda run out of ideas so...
Sorry for the short post...
With all my love
A.Q.

~From the dusty pages of my(rarely shown)pessimistic side~

Hey Guys.
Sorry I haven't posted in a long while.....but I never made the promise to update every week or anything like that...I said I'd try though but I'm not doing a good job with that am I?
So, anyways...
I hope everyone is having an amazing fun-filled summer! My summer has been okay...the best thing about it is that my sister and I have been getting along surprisingly well this summer and I'd like to share (I know one person who's going to dance when she hears this and one friend at the least who will most likely groan when she reads this...) that I've taken interest in the ever popular Gilmore Girls. Yes. I said Gilmore Girls. You may dance and groan away now but I'm not saying that I love it. It tends to get tedious and boring at points and they always speak the same rushed words through the whole show. What keeps me watching is the fact that it brings me closer to my sister and the amazing drama that occurs once in awhile. I'm a huge fan a drama-you could say I'm an addict-I love when nothing goes the way someone wants it to-bring on the tears!-There's nothing like a good heartrending scene or heated argument--those are the kinda things that keep me interested--I'm such a sick person...
So, last Tuesday, I had a dentist appointment with a new dentist because our last dentist was crappy. Normally on Tuesdays we go with our Dad but lately we haven't. We seem to be seeing him less and less and I feel so overwhelmingly guilty that I actually enjoy not going. I feel so less stressed and I don't have to choke every time one of them pulls out a cigarette. I should be able to breath properly and feel comfortable around my own father. Me and my sister shouldn't be suffering just because he's too dumb to figure out that he's killing himself with every cigarette he puts in his mouth and afraid to actually quit smoking for his good health(or whats left of it...) and ours. He's our father he should be taking responsibility and straighten himself out and fix his messed up life that he's so conveniently thrown himself into. And through all this Dad bashing that I do I still love this man who is in no shape to be a father to me or even less my sister. I still love him through all his violent temper tantrums, blatant disregard of how his choices affect us and the rest of his family, him forcing religion onto us, and even through the screen of acrid smoke we have to get through just to hug him-I still love him. He has lost everything from me except my love but a relationship between a father and a daughter cannot live in just love. There has to be respect and loyalty and trust too-which he has yet to try to gain. I figure that I can handle this all pretty well(I think) but my sister doesn't need such a loser of a father in her life. She tends to be emotional and stubborn and has a temper too but she doesn't need a father that blows up at her because she blew up too. That's not parenthood. That's immaturity. I can't help feeling guilty every time I talk bad about my dad the first bad thing that leaves my mouth about him always seems to come attached to all the rest and at the end all I get is an empty feeling in my stomach and the pressure of guilt weighing down on my shoulders. Thank god for my broad shoulders, huh? :)
I also wanted to come here to talk about me. "Yes, in fact, the world does revolve around me."
Just kidding. I know for a fact that I'm one of the least likely people ever to have a world revolve around them. :) But that's just the thing. If you were to have a world revolve around you, you would have to have left a mark, done something that touched the hearts of millions. That is exactly what I want to do. I want people to remember me for something; not just friends and family who have an unconditional obligation not to forget me. I want strangers who know almost nothing about me to recognize my name or picture or what I did. I want people to say generations from now to say, "Oh I remember her..." they don't have to remember what I did or how I lived or who I really am, all I want is some recognition from them; no matter how empty it is. Because when you die, that's all. Poof. You're gone. There's no lingering living memory of you. You're dead and you're not coming back. People will grieve of course-they'll go to your funeral and cry and talk about all your good qualities and funny anecdotes from when you were younger and more rebellious...but then the next day people are back at work continuing on with their busy lives. You're past news. You were last weeks obituary now being used as packing material. You are no more and people eventually have to move on. No, you won't be totally gone but you'll be like an old photo album that gets pulled out once in awhile for airing or a laugh but those few people who read the obituary for "fun" would read yours and shake their head in empathy and whisper quietly to themselves "Poor man/woman..." before moving on to the other dozens of obituaries and yours will soon be forgotten by that stranger who reads dozens of obituaries a day. Death in this world seems so abrupt and final. The end of all ends. That's why I want to leave my mark on this world. So I can pass onto the next world easily. I want to touch the hearts of millions so that as I pass I can hope that one day in some distant land a world will revolve around me. I'm selfish but that's who I am. I want to be remembered.
Next topic I wanted to cover is once again about me but this is my blog so, rightfully, it should and can be about me.
No matter what I still believe in what I want. Everyone thinks my beliefs are ridiculous and far fetched. You can deny that and I thank you because I know you're just looking after me and don't want my feelings to get hurt. But this is what I believe in.
All my life I've believed in magic but not the kind that involves fairy dust or cauldrons and wands. I believe in pure magic. The magic of miracles the magic of imagination the magic of a kind deed done without thought of repayment or used as leverage. I believe there's magic. I believe that there are things that we ignorant humans know nothing of. I believe there are other worlds out there delicately connected to ours with a thinly spun portal. The kind that are so hard to get to if you're looking for it but you tend to drop into unexpectedly either when your life is going fantastically or when you're running out of options. I believe that there are beings out there that are out of the ordinary. Yes. I believe there are Faery folk who live right next door and can be a friendly coworker at your job. Or there are some that are there but we simply do not possess the power to see them or their world. They live in our walls and watch us cry alone in our rooms or watch us laugh together at the dinner table. They are there even if you don't know-even if you refuse to believe. But I believe-I believe in all the things that little children believe in-the kind of things that adults laugh at quietly and pat their kids' heads for. I believe stories in books are real. I believe that humans are not what keeps this world thriving but it's the unknown. It's the things going on behind the scenes that our people think are the cause of them and their powerful positions in the world of business and the food chain. But the fact is we are just another species on this planet there are others who are farther above us than we can ever hope to be. I believe in everything that seems impossible-everything that's thought of as fiction/fantasy/ridiculous. That's what I believe in. My beliefs are not easy on me either. There are times, so many times, that I think about how ridiculous I'm being. I wonder if I'm ever going to grow up and face reality but the problem is I don't know the difference between reality and unreality. There's a fine line between dreams and the waking world that I don't see and am in no rush to. Who even knows for certain if the state I'm typing this in is really just another dream world or if it's our actual world. Who knows if we even if we have one world or if we travel in our "dreams" to all the other nonsensical worlds where things always seem to make more sense than they do in this world. You may find me immature and childish with my belief in fairy tales and legends but that's just me. I do not choose to believe in this I just do. I believe that everything happens for a reason but the reason isn't always there. Around others who believe differently I will always remain quiet and deny everything I believe in but on my own, in my room, at peace, that's when i apologize quietly to no one in particular for not standing by my beliefs but I am not a strong person no matter what I or anyone else think. It's hard that wherever you go whoever you turn to you know in your heart that they truly do not believe and some even scorn what you believe and hold so dear. I'm not asking for pity points and I probably sound all "woe-is-me" but I will never ever stop believing in what I believe in. My life isn't hard-if anything I'm spoiled rotten-but my life is what I make it so it's mine to mend and mold too...even if it doesn't fit to others' standards or my ways of thinking seem ridiculously preachy and nonsensical they seem. I live my life the way I want-that's what I'd like to believe at least.

You know, usually I come away from my blog feeling relieved because I've gotten some stuff off my chest but this time I still feel heavy because I like to be liked and respected by my friends and family but now that I've shared all these stupid irrelevant thoughts I have no idea how to face the world or you. Everyone keeps their unkind thoughts hidden way deep inside of them and some rare people don't even have them. But most do including me which I sometimes share. But the biggest thing that gets me is when I know someone is hurt or mad or disgusted at/with me and they bury it deep down inside them and continue on as if they're fine. That's what hurts me. When someone who I've hurt in some way is still so kind as to not blow up at me or breakdown in in front of me because they don't want to hurt me. The fact that people can be so kind actually hurts sometimes. It's not a bad kind of hurt but it's not a good one either...I dunno...
I just keep rambling.
I feel weird now....
I'm gonna go take a shower-that'll make me feel better-either that or I'll go eat.
You know how I love food! ;)

Here's me hoping you all live your life the way you want!
I love you sincerely and with all my heart.
~ A.Q.

Forgive And Forget---Live Your Life The Way You Want

Okay this is a short blurb that i quickly typed onto the computer a few days ago...i haven't read over it at all so i don't know what it sounds like so yeah....>>'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We…” She began, choking out her words, “We shouldn’t see each other anymore…we can’t see each other…I want this to end…” He stood rooted to the spot in shock.
“I…I don’t understand…” He managed to squeeze out from his tight throat.
“What’s not to understand, Edward?!” She cried in desperation. “I’m breaking up with you!” The words tore at both of the young couple’s hearts.
“But why?!” He yelled back with equal force. “Everything was going great....It was perfect… I thought we were-you were happy…together…with me.” The young man force dwindled as the end of his sentence came nearer.
“Well, maybe I wasn’t happy with you! Maybe everyday was a living hell just breathing the air around you and feeling your touch on my skin! Maybe I hated you!” The young girl’s emotions were swirling into an angry cyclone of frustration and deep unending despair. Frustrated tears coursed down her pale face as the barbed words flew into the air tearing half of her heart out along with it. The words hit Edward as if he had just a blow to the face. His handsome face went slack, his broad shoulders hung low and he stood silent and shocked staring brokenly at the girl he loved. The fragile girl looked through her curtain of tears at her used-to-be love her firm resolution wavered and almost broke completely, “Edward, I…I…” She reached a hand out to him but she stopped shaking her head and dropping her hand her tears flowed anew. “Goodbye Edward.” She said her dull. Then with a shaky turn she put one foot forward and ran.
Edward watched her go until she disappeared around the corner of the school’s brick wall.
“Mio…” he muttered. He looked down at his legs and urged them to move, to chase after but they felt as if they were tied down by lead weights. He thought of her crying face and the way her eyes looked so sad-so full of despair-as if her heart were breaking. But why would her heart be breaking? She was the one breaki-
He stopped mid-thought a revelation dawning on him and he felt his legs break free of the illusionary weights as they carried him to his companion. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do if he couldn’t find her but he didn’t have to worry because Mio had not made any farther than around the corner. Sobs racked her body and her shoulders heaved a teary stain spread through her sleeves as her blonde head hid in the cradle of her arms wrapped tightly around her knees.
“Why?1 Why?1” he heard her muffled cries. His head was swirling in confusion. He stepped nearer,
“Mio?” He said softly. The young girl whipped her head up her eyes red and swollen from the cascade of tears, her nose red. “Edward…” she whispered. “No!” She cried again. She hurriedly scrambled to her feet and was ready to run again but not before Edward had caught her in a fierce hug. The girl struggled shouting and kicking in his arms but he held on resolutely. She finally collapsed into his chest digging into the fabric with her fingers and burying her head in his chest. “It’s not fair!” she cried her chest heaving from her struggle and sobs. Edward comforted her and began smoothing her golden locks.
“Shh….shh…” he hushed, “What’s not fair?” he inquired softly.
“It’s not fair…” she cried once more only with less passion and force. She was exhausted and emotionally drained, she continued on despite the fact, “Why!?” she questioned no one in particular. “Why do I get to be so happy?! Why, when everyone around me is suffering and unhappy?! Why am I so lucky!!?? I don’t deserve this happiness!” “Mio! Mio!” Edward chided lovingly. “Bad stuff is going to happen no matter where you go and everyone, even the people you hold close, is going to suffer more than once in their lifetime. Even though you try to protect them from all the unhappiness in the world it’s bound to catch hold of them, but they’ll recover, because they have people who love and care for them. And just because they’re unhappy doesn’t mean you have to be too. You’ve gone through rough spots in your life too. Now it’s your time to be happy. Whoever is up there looking after you has decided that you’ve deserved a break and plus. Do you really want to make me unhappy too? I’m a very selfish person and would like to stay happy but that means that you have to be happy and with me all the time.” Edward smiled deviously as Mio looked up at him a small smile hovering about her lips.
“I…I think you’re right. Thank you.”
Edward kissed her forehead and wiped her tears away gently with his thumb.
“And since I’m a selfish person too I want you to give me a real kiss.” Mio smiled just as deviously as Edward. Their shadows stretched out across the pavement as they embraced in a passionate kiss. The sun sank behind them casting their figures in shadows as it was swallowed up by the fiery clouds of its farewell.
The young heartfelt couple broke away breathless from their long, heated kiss.
They gazed into each other’s eyes the sky lit up with the flame of the sun’s passion behind them and the twinkling stars ahead of them in an undecided blanket of darkness.
“Edward?” Mio spoke softly lulled by the love that filled the air with an enveloping warmth.
“Yes.” He replied wrapping his arms around her waist and picked her up in his arms.
She wrapped her arms around his neck still staring into his gorgeous eyes.
“I love you.” She stated simply but with so much passion and truth that it made their hearts skip a beat. Edward chuckled softly.
“I know. And I love you too, with all my being.”
And as they walked home in the shadows of the setting sun, they shared another tender kiss.
Their love filled the air, the sky, and their selves.

****Endnote: This story was really meant to have a different theme but it still ended up being romantic because I just cant resist.
But that’s beside the point. What I wanted to share through this small blurb is that there are going to be rough points in your life when you feel like you’ll never pull out of that pit of despair that you’ve sunken into. There’ll be a time when you feel like you’ll never be able to smile a real smile or stop crying every day you come home, a time where it seems like theirs no hope and there is no point in living. And you’ll fill up with self-loathing for everything stupid or hurtful you’ve done. But you have to remember everyone has gone and will go through times where they feel like it’s the end. You are not alone no matter what you think. There is definitely always someone who cares for you and wants you to be happy, and I’m not talking about someone like your true love or anything, I’m talking about your friends and family because even though you may think that they all hate you or are mad at you or just don’t care the truth is they really do. Even if it’s the person you’re having a huge argument with, deep down they really care about you, love you. You should know because that’s how you, yourself feels. You may not want to admit but it’s true you still care no matter how much you don’t want to, love is an emotion all humans feel.
I want you all to know is that I’ve gone through crap like this and have even come close to contemplating suicide but I knew that was the cowardly out and I’m too stubborn of a person to give up that easy. And even if you’re not thinking of suicide don’t give up on being happy because everyone has a right to be happy. This is hard, really hard, to do but you have to stop focusing on the negatives and start thinking of all the good things that have happened to you and all the people who really love you. You’re friends and acquaintances your parents and siblings your aunts and uncles your grandparents strangers you’ve offered a helping hand too and they received it greatfully.
Being unhappy isn’t fun but it’s bound to happen you cant control that. But you can control how long it lasts and how strong you are once you pulled out of it.
Remember that I love you too. Even if I don’t know you my heart reaches out to you too. We can all relate. We’ve all felt that unending despair. We all have the same emotions. And it’s up to all of us to be happy and help others be happy too.
My love goes out to you.
Love, me.
Love yourself.

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So anyways...

I'm a happy camper right now!

I got my favorite magazine today in the mail

The weather is gorgeous!

I had a wonderful walk home

And my dad hasn't called yet

I don't mean to brag but right now....

I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL ALIVE!!!

I just feel so great!

It's refreshing!

I've generally always been a happy person but im just ecstatic right now!

You could probably see the stars in my eyes! >///<

Anyways I love you guys!

I really do!

Hugs and Kisses!!

*squee*

~A.Q.

Spread the love!

Summer Camp Lovin'

Okay...so this post is really belated...and may be short but i just wanted to gush!

And yes, i said 'gush'.

I'm not angry, not sad, nope!

I'm hunky dorey and lovey dovey because...

Over spring break...

I went to the mall with Jessie...

And we were in Eckerds....

Jessie was looking for make-up stuff...

I was kinda zoning out then...

(and yes I'm dragging this out purposely! >:D)

and as we walked towards the checkout counter...

We saw a guy and a girl there...

And as we went to stand in line...

The guy's eyes met mine for a split moment...

I thought my heart had stopped

>///<

Standing in front of us in line was my summer camp crush!!!!!

*squee* I feel so giddy...and stupid! XD

Now let me tell you a little bit about this.

He was the second crush i ever had and was the biggest one too!

He was, in my book, the closest thing to the perfect man.

But the sad thing was i only saw him when i went to camp.

And i haven't gone to summer camp in three years and had lost all touch with him.

I didnt have his phone number email what school he went to...nothing...

Because i was an idiot then moreso than now...

I dont think he recognized me. But i knew it was him and i'm going to place this memory right beside the shooting star one close to my heart...

God! I was freaking out so much then i thought my heart was literally going to jump out of my chest and onto the linoleum floor of Eckerds.

And yes, i do still have a crush on him...thats so pathetic >///<

Ah well...I am me. And Me is stupid annoying naive ungrateful etc...

XP

Oh and i have to add...

Damn was he cute!!!

I just wanted to leap into his arms right then and there but of course i didnt

I'm not that crazy!

XD

So anyways....

That's my crazy love saturated post.

Tomorrow don't expect to hear me talk.

I'm taking the vow of silence with a couple of friends for tomorrow in school.

I'm thinking about bringing a small whiteboard tho'...

Alrighty then!

That's all i have to say

So sorry for the extremely short posts lately...>>'

Luv you all!!!

A.Q.

.:Caged:.

I want so bad to travel somewhere...anywhere!

I really want to go to Japan. A culture where everything is different--the opposite side of the spectrum. There's just so many places i want to go and not enough money-too much responsibility-and not enough time. Sometimes i want to be like those characters you read about in books where they throw all caution to the wind and screw commitments and just go and everything always turns out awesome. But even me-with my 'head-in-the-clouds' mind can't believe that everything would be okay and workout. If only it would tho. I'd jump to the chance to have an adventure like that. I would love to get a chance to spend a year in Japan getting to know it's culture and habits and learning it's language as i go. That would be so awesome!

Anyways this is a really short post sorry about that. My sister booted me off so i lost my 'flow'.

I'll hope to write more later. By the way check out the song posted near my current obsession at the bottom of the page....i cant get it to start immediately so just double click on the play button. It's one of the first songs I've heard from a trance band and i liked it so...yeah....

Anyways I'm gonna add some pictures of Japanese style at the bottom and leave you with a kiss and a hug farewell.

Yours Forever,

A.Q.

LAWLZ!!

Hello!!!!
I'm on the computer in the choir room!!
Go me!
It's 8:07 pm according to Lauren!!
We're at the musical right now!
Danielle is here and she told me to tell you that she's being annoying!!
So.....I'm just posting something really random to get the depressing stuff off my front page....
So...YEAH!!
CAST PARTY TONIGHT!!
WHOO!!!
Luv ya guys!
I'm starting to get over tired!!
BEWARE!!
GRAWR!!!
=3
lalalalala!!
I'm so freakin weird!!
im just typing random things right now except i cant really type right now!!
ok well im gonna go now so....
smooches!!
hugs!!!
luv ya guys!!
~A.Q.

All at Once...

What i did to Rudy one boring summer day....MOHAWK!!

XD

I figured that this would be the easiest way to tell everyone the news instead of having to repeat it over and over and over again.

I don't know how well i would have been able to do that....

Now before i tell you the news i want to ask you not to act any different when you see me next it won't help. No calls no nothing....

I deal with this kind of stuff by escaping and you guys are the ones that help me with that.

You keep me happy and laughing (usually... ;P). So thanks.

Anyways what i came here to say was....

Uggh! This is so damn hard!!!

I feel like saying it makes it real.

Well....I've gotta tell so here i go...

My dog, Rudy, is dead.

Yeah.....i already had the premonition that was going to happen like i said in my last post but i can't believe that it actually did

I mean, I still cant-don't want to believe it!

He was my dog since i was 4 and has been my buddy since then

I mean he was annoying at times...and smelled...a lot

but he was my buddy

this is the second dog that has died this school year i don't think i can handle another pet dying this year.

Well anyways Rudy didn't die he was put to sleep

He was suffering too much he only weighed 58 lbs. when he used to weigh a little more than me, 140 lbs.

He had masses in his stomach which is a cancerous type of thing and his intestines were blocked and some organ that started with a 'G' was inflamed, He was basically dying from the inside out.

The surgery costs 2000 and up and he might have been even worse off after it anyways.

So mom had to make the horrible decision of putting him to sleep.

I feel so bad for my mom though.

She needs the most support. My sister didn't help with the matter at all.

She was beyond the point of sobbing and was totally broken down.

She was pretty much blaming my mom and kept on asking why we couldn't basically go into debt to pay for the surgery that wasn't even going to make him better for sure.

When she finally left my mom just said,

"She's going to blame me forever."

It hurt me to hear my mom say that...to see that she was suffering so much.

i really wanted to beat some sense into my sister right then but then i also wanted to comfort mom. I chose the latter and hugged my mom for a long time.

*sigh*

Anyways....

He 'died' tuesday morning at 7:30.

And I've been doing okay since then but today i really don't feel good.

I have not been healthy lately.

I cant wait until rehearsal ends so i can get my life and health back. I've been feeling like I'm gonna pass out any second lately.

Don't get me wrong

I love rehearsal i really do

i just don't like what its doing to me...

So remember

Tomorrow-this basically never happened

So no hugs no calls no sniffles

just smiles and jokes and normality

well.....as normal as we can get

;)

Love ya guys!!!!

luv,

A.Q.

Long Time No See!!

Hiya!!

I know....

i haven't posted in forever but I'm posting now so don't kill me!!

><

Anyways.

I've been so tired lately and i dont know why.

I just cant seem to get enough rest.

I just hope i dont get sick from all this.

My head hurts a lot and my grades aren't doing too well from the lack of sleep either.

I got the proud grade of 67% in Math and my science grade went down...again. I didn't too well on an easy french test and i cant focus,think,speak clearly anymore.

I just.....ugh!

And I feel like I need a good cry because I'm missing the last two of my manga classes on Saturday. And I love it so much and i wont be able to say goodbye to them and give them hugs and it just sucks because i always loved going and it was something new and different and it helped with my drawings and encouraged my creativity and it was just a really fun realxing place to be and get away from everything.

*sigh*

On top of all that I'm not sure how much longer my dog is going to live.

He's lost too much weight too fast and he hasn't eaten anything and even when he drinks water it just comes right back up.

He's just not doing well....and I'm not sure whats going to happen.

And you know what really sucks?

I hate being down.

I dont like crying!

I want to laugh and have fun!

I want to be happy, i like being happy!!

And I'm finding that it's getting harder to lose myself in everyone and thing around me and enjoy the moment...which is what i used to do so easily before.

I dont want to become depressed again.

urgh!

There's too much drama and highschool!!

><

Ah well....

So....

hope you guys have been doing well!

Can't wait until the play huh?

:)

I'm listening to one of my favorite songs!

It's Once Upon a December from Anastasia

Ever heard it???

It's really good!

I love the movie too.

Well....

Some of us have to be to school bright and early tomorrow (><) (from 9am to 3 pm!!)

oh and go watch the video at the bottom

I love the song! and the singer is pretty cute too!!

;)

tee hee!

;)

A.Q.

the professional moodswinger

Mata Ashita

mata ashita

Sit Back Relax

Hihi everyone!

Well....

I dont really know why i came onto my blog.....

So i guess I'll just babble which i'm really good at doing.

Nonsense always comes out of my mouth so i apoligize to you all for having to put up with it and I thank you too.

I mean seriously you guys are amazing and i'm lucky to have you in my life

There's always some points in my life where i start to feel mysellf slip into my old depressed self and then that's when i get mad at myself for being so selfish.

What is there to be depressed about when i have a wonderful home, family, friends, an education, a fully working body, and i am totally spoiled.

I'm always afraid that people might think i'm ungrateful cause i complain a lot but it's a really bad habit of mine. And plus (especially around holidays) I get kinda scared and nervous when people give me stuff because i always feel so happy that i feel awkward and then i don't know how to express my thanks and it ends up coming out really....messed up sounding.

Like i'm ungrateful and don't really care but i do!

That's just the thing...I guess i am really bad at expressing my feelings

><

I'm really sorry too that you guys have to put up with such an ungrateful sounding friend but i want you to know that i really am grateful!

So...sorry

><

I hope you guys'll still put up with me.

But anyways....

I realized today that if i want to get along with my sister in anyway i have to completely stay away from her or else......murder is in the air.

We really have a hard time getting along.

I dont think it's a normal sibling rivalry either.

We're too different and i dont think there's much love between us.

We cant stand the sight of eachother for more than 30 minutes.

It's really ridiculous.

And i know it's really cruel of me but i guess i have a mean streak in me (that kinda scares me too...) but anyways....sometimes i think 'if only i was an only child' but i really don't know.

Would i be sad or happier as an only child?

I dont know but i always come away feeling guilty when i think that.

*sigh*

So...

I read a really great Beauty and the Beast fanfic on fanfiction.net called 'Take My Hand'

I really wish i could write as well as that...

You guys should go check it out...if you want to of course....

But I always wonder what my future is going to be like

Will I ever get better?

Will i be stuck in a boring job one where i sit at a desk all day doing paperwork and computer stuff?

Will my skills ever heighten?

Will i ever travel to all the places i want to?

What will the man i marrry be like?

Will we get divorced?

Will i drink alcohol?

There's so many questions that it makes my head spin

><

But i always gotta say to myself

"Hey! Wake up and pay attention to what's happening right now. You've gotta enjoy what you have while you got it. Life doesnt go on forever so you gotta get the most out of it while you're still in it. You gotta sit back. relax and enjoy the ride. This doesn't happen twice. Live life to its fullest and do what you want. Live it the way you want to and be the person you want to be."

I've gotta stop thinking about what's behind me and whats in front of me and start focusing on whats right here.

Or else i really will start taking things for granted.

Cause I am a slefish being who is a slave to her own instnat gratification.

I't hurts to admit it but i dont think i'm the greatest person on earth.

I find myself to be lazy, irresponsible annoying ungrateful selfish hypocrytical...the list goes on

And the sad part is I try to make myself better but i always succumb to my bad habits again.

Meh....i guess that's just me.

I'm not totally happy with it but not disgusted either.

Let's call it.....

Liveable.

;)

Until next post.

A.Q.

*hums* These are a few of my favorite things *hums*

Hey.

So I've decided to list a few things that i like, love, and am grateful for.

This might be a little long though and it doesn't even cover a hundredth of the things i like, love etc...

So here I go....

~Summer Rain

~Looking through old photo albums

~Making someone smile

~Sweet surprises

~Being Healthy

~Trying new things

~Doing things that i want, how i want, when i want to

~Doing things the way someone else wants

~When my friends are happy

~Adventure

~Smiles

~Freedom

~Dreams

~Hope

~Imagination

~Stories

~Love

~Romance

~Fantasy

~Thunderstorms

~Anime

~Freedom to believe in what i want

~An amazing Mom

~Listening to music so loud the house rattles

~The smell of spring

~The last day of school

~Singing in the shower

~Internet

~J-Pop

~Email

~Foods that remind me of summer in winter

~Fruit

~Great, Caring friends who i can always rely on ;)

~The excitement of wondering if your crush likes you back

~The walk to the coffee shop

~Summer nights

~Dancing in the rain

~Lying in the middle of the road at night with friends[the road was nice and warm :)]

~When the sun fills your room

~Designing school uniforms

~Gazing at the moon

~Watching Beauty and the Beast over and over again

~Making new buddies

~Playing silly games

~Being able to act like a little kid without being judged

~Laughing until i cant breathe

~Music that makes my heart flutter

~Sudden inspiration

~Hugs!

~Singing your heart out to Disney

~Listening to friends

~Knowing someone trusts me enough to ask advice and share a secret with me

~Satisfying my curiosity

~Giving and receiving hugs

~Kisses

~Being able to help

~Just being there

~Reading fanfictions and receiving reviews on my own

~iTunes and my iPod

~Falling in the snow

~Swimming in the summer

~Jumping into a pile of Fall leaves

~Sleepovers

~Being able to laugh at myself

~The adrenaline rush of my first roller coaster ride

~The smell of Fall

~Being able to pull out of depression

~Being able to be there for someone

~Being able to walk around the house in my bra ;)

~Hot showers

~Dancing in my room

~Musical and plays (especially being part of one)

~The word 'giggle'

~Pictures

~My manga class

~Otaku Club

~Being educated

~Different societies, cultures and beliefs

~Familiarity

~My Blog

~Making up names and words

~Nicknames!

~Getting spoiled

~Fresh Salad

~Pasta

~Family get-togethers

~Going places with friends

~deviantART

~Playing tag!

~Seeing the first sprout of the the seeds you planted

~Snowball fights

~Running

~Escape

~Waterfalls

~Standing knee-high in a stream on a summer day

~Being random

~Peace

~Chaos(hey, its a good change once in awhile)

~Riding the after school bus with friends

~Movies

~Favorite Teachers

~Surpassing your parents

~Knowing someone has a crush on you

~Watching a favorite childhood movie you haven't seen in awhile

~Winter mornings

~The first snowfall

~Finding out you have something in common with someone else

~Not being tied down

~Strong summer winds

~Using chalk till your knuckles scrape the sidewalk

~ Ice cold lemonade on a hot day

~Hot dogs at an amusement park

~Being so happy you cry

~Not knowing the future

~Bad boys ;)

~Danger

~Taking a risk and enjoying it

~Finding out that the way there was more exciting than the actual destination

~Having a cat sleep on the bed with you

~New Sights

~Happy songs!

~The boy next door

~Road Trips

~Staying up all night watching movies, eating junk, talking, playing truth or dare, giggling and fake snoring when you think the parents are coming

~The smell of the library

~Feeling responsible

~When someone thanks you

~Holding hands

~Cat kisses

~Changing into fluffy, clean pj's after a shower

~Hot cocoa after playing out in the snow

~Seeing my breath on the winter air

~Drawing pictures on fogged windows

~Doodling on math HW

~Being woken up by cat whiskers tickling your nose

~Snuggling

~The word 'huggles'

~Late night drawing

~Chewing on pen caps

~The smell of Wood Shop

~Fooling around with friends in the halls

~The morning at school before it's started

~Hangin' out at 'The Rock'

~Making pictures out of scribbles

~Having slippers that haven't been chewed on

~Kisses at the end of movies (most)

~Obsessions

~Dreaming of who you're going to marry

~Dances

~Being able to make someone else blush for once

~Making a drawing you're finally proud of

~Giving and receiving compliments

~Shiny things! *_* ;)

~Reading

~Writing

~Drawing

~Doing things right for once

~Meeting new people

~Japan

~Being happy

~Being the cause of other people's happiness

~Good Food

~Sushi

~Chinese Food

~Fortune Cookies

~Lucky numbers

~The colors blue, green, and black

~The mall

~Sharing fries with friends at the mall

~Ramen

~Finding out how to do things a different way

~The unexplained

~Being different

~Riding alone on the 'home' bus

~Doing something just for the sake of doing something

~Having soup when you're sick

~Finding songs that make you want to dance

~Rooting for both teams

~Having fun in gym

~Figuring out that it's harder to list things you dislike than like

;)

Well that's it for now even though i barely scratched the surface.

So tata for now m'lovelies!

Just kiddin'! ;)

See ya!

A.Q.

Criticize Me!

~~~~Just a random Pretty picture~~~~


Okay everyone!!


Since you guys all rock and are so nice i want to find out how I can be a better person!


You guys have to comment anonymously and tell me what i do that bugs you and what i dont do that bugs you cause i want to be as awesome as you guys are too me!


So dont worry about being nice


I wont know who says it and i wont cry or get mad i want it harsh and straight to the point!


So criticize away


If you were mad at me(or are) take it out on me now!


I'm ready for whatever comes my way!


And dont forget this is so i can become a better friend and person!


Now go be mean!!


If thats possible for you guys!


;)


A.Q.

Musical Time!!

So....my school is putting on a musical!

And...

I had the guts to actually audition for it(Go me!!)

I'm just a modern(A 'nice' word for an extra...) but i get to wear the cool costumes

*squeal*

I'm really excited and even thought this is old news(XD) I just had rehearsal today and things are started to come together(slowly but surely)

I'm really nervous though cause everythings so hectic and i lost my music(Crap!><) and i feel like i might mess up cause i dont know what im supposed to be doing...

I'm just getting really highstrung cause everythings coming at me in one sudden rush and as long as i can hold on to something i think i can make it through......

........

wow....that was kinda....deep....

woah...creepy!!

XD

Anyways i just wanted to spout out how happy i am being in a musical!

I mean musicals are my life(not really but i really love 'em!) and they pick up my spirits.

I have yet to find that perfect musical though....the one where everythings the way it should be

Love and angst and tears and laughter and action and killing and...yeah....the whole shebang!!

I always get pumped up talking about musicals and plays too!!

I think next post I'll start listing plays/musicals i have seen...

yeah!

Well...

I'm gonna go.....do something.....

I'm hungry....

I think I'll have Ramen tonight since my mom's working late.....

~~~Yummmmm!! Ramen!! How come that looks so good though!!???~~~

My sister can fend for herself

>:]

Hope you guys have good food for dinner too!

;)

A.Q

A Day of Love!

One of my favorite holidays is coming up!


Valentines Day!

~~~"Be my Valentine..."~~~




But....


I'm not prepared at all.......


I totally forgot it was this week


><


So if you guys dont get anything this Valentines day from me


its not cause i dont care about you!


Its because....I'm stupid!!


><


I cant believe i forgot!!


><


Please forgive me!!


I'll try to do my best to get gifts for everyone before Valentines day is over!


Valentines is the day where i get to show that i love you guys more than other days but i totally forgot!!


><


Waaah!!


I'm gonna go cry in a corner and mope!!!


...


Oh and heres another song for you guys!!


It's: Best Friend


By: Toybox





It's a happy song!!





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95rOHDHx5B4&mode=related&search=





Happy Valentines Day guys!!!


Thanks for being there for me even when i was a pest(which is quite often... XD)


Love Ya!!


;)

Dream Time.....Maybe.....

~~~"Now kiss me."~~~

All right... i can promise you right now that I really dont remember too much and chunks are definitely going to be missing.

So let me fill you in on what i think you missed.

When i left to go to Eric's i dont really remember what happened. I dont remember anything at all about the letter or mission and the only part i can really remember is the very end.

So.....

I'll start from there and try to make it make sense...

><

...............

I had come to terms that my pale skinned, dark-eyed, gorgeous exchange student was a vampire.

Not only had i come to terms but i had embraced it and even fell in love with him.

I know that he loves me too. Although his reasons are unclear of why a magnificient being like him would pick a girl like me to fall in love with when there were plenty of other more beautiful girls to choose from. I do not complain because now I do not know what life would be like without him. Would I be able to go on living on if he somehow died? I find it hard to believe that i could.

He has this way of holding me in his lap that makes me feel so...protected, warm, and loved. Like nothing could ever take that moment away. I guess this is what love feels like. It's painful and confusing and it makes you cry a lot but it's the most wonderful feeling in the world and you will never experience anything as great as love.

I wanted it to last forever but fate had other plans.

"Why?!" I cried by his bedside. I gripped his hand in an iron grip and lay my head upon his chest. "Why does this have to happen to us?!"

Damian brought his other hand up to rest gently on my head. He began stroking my hair in effort to console me but my tears flowed freely.

"Shh." He whispered soothingly. His velvet voice caressing my ears. "This is for the best. You need to be able to lead a normal life one that's safe and protected."

I shook my head, "I dont want a normal life! Not if its without you! It's not fair! It's not fair!" I heard myself whine like a baby but didn't care. How could this happen? How could Damian be dying?

A soft musical chuckle graced my hearing and i saw his lips curve up in that familiar smirk. "Whoever said life was fair? This is my time to go. I lived longer than any other normal being and witnessed greater things than anyone. I also was lucky enough to fall in love with the most enchanting girl in the world and was smiled upon enough to have her fall in love with me." His smile grew and his razor sharp canines glinted devishly from the corners of his mouth. We drew closer and shared a teary kiss. (The tears provided by myself) I pulled away out of breath and stared into his dark ebony eyes. He was still smiling and his hand rose to wipe the tears from my face. I leaned into his hand and breathed in his intoxicating scent and was alarmed when even my human nose could smell death upon him.

"There must be something we could do..." I whispred hoarsley.

"The only thing that'll save me now is blood but....I refuse to revert back into my old ways and risk endangering the one I love." He smiled again and continued stroking my hair. His smile fell and was replaced by a worried frown at my silence.

"What are you thinking?" He asked his voice wary and laced with mistrust. "You know i would never do that Jessica." He warned a feteral growl rumbling in the back of his throat a soft warning that his temper was flaring. I ignored it and gripped his hand tighter.

"But-"

"No."

"Then you wouldn't-"

"No."

Why-"

"No!" He finally snapped as my pleading drove onward my human stubborness showing through. "Jessica for the last time no! I do not want to create more regret than i already have. Think of what it'd do to me if I killed you. How do you think i could live with myself?" His velvet voice held the sharpness of a concealed dagger. I was pushing too much but it wouldnt stop me. I was human after all, and his harsh words wounded me. I let go of his hand and sat back on my knees.

"What about me!?" I insisted. "How do you think I'll be after you're gone?!" I started to bawl again my voice converting to a high cracked pitch so much different then his smooth and musical voice. "Do you think i could go on living without you?! 'Cause you're wrong! I'd rather die than live without yo-!" I was surprised when I felt his hand on my mouth. He glared down at me from the bed his breathing ragged.

"Don't you ever say that!" He growled. "You have too many reasons to live to want to die. I'll always be by your side but you have to promise me, no matter what, that you will never give up on living." His tone was hard. I nodded against his hand and he let it drop and pulled it next to him. He collapsed down onto the bed and heaved a sigh. "Good. Now i dont think I have much time left. So I'd like to tell you something." I tried to resist bawling outloud and shook with my efforts as unheard sobs racked my body. He began, "Know that I love you Jessica. With my whole being. Nothing will ever change that. And i want you to know that once i'm gone i will still love you and will always be by your side though not in person." He paused to take a rattling breath. "And in this short time i would like to ask for you to be my wife." I stared at him for a moment and then finally broke down and bawled. I nodded my head and with a shaky breath i answered

"Y-yes!"

"Then come here." He beckoned with an elegant pale hand. I took his hand and flinched. I stared down at it in my hand.

"I-its warm...!" I gasped and stuttered. His usual stone cold skin was hot!

He nodded his head sadly. "Death is setting upon me quickly." i took a sharp breath and held in my tears as he brought me closer to him. "This mark will stay here so long as you love me and i love you." He said as i felt his canines dig into my neck and there was a sharp prick followed by a cool tingling sensation that numbed my neck for a split second and then disappeared.

He fell back against his pillow and looked at me.

"Now kiss me." He smiled. And i obliged.

This time he pulled away breathless and just uttered a simple phrase, "Oh god I love you..." before he pushed me backwards with exceeded force and i watched distressed as he began to light in flames. His veins came alive with fire and it puored from his body. I watched as his form slowly began to disappear and saw that he was still smiling. And with a desperate attempt i tried to reach him but only managed in getting out a few words.

"I'll always love you Damian!" I cried. I swear i saw him mouth 'you better' before the fire roared suddenly and vanished in a whisp of air leaving behind a whispered phrase,

"I love you Jessica."

I dont know how long i sat there tears coursing down my face and my chest heaving with sobs but after awhile i rose with a jolt and ran to the mirror hanging on the wall.

Sweeping my hair aside i looked at the place Damian had 'marked' me in the crook of my neck.

I lighlty touched the ink black lily that graced my neck.

"Damain" I uttered.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Even to this day I still bear the mark of Damian. My love has never failed and his has lived on forever. As he promised he stayed with me the whole time renting out a large place in my heart for a home. I still wonder waht my life would have been like if i had never met my Damian.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay.....so.....

><

I'm kinda embarrassed about my dream....its kinda corny and mushy....

><

And it probably makes no sense because it doesnt even make sense to me

><

And there's so much missing from it that its not even like a complete thought/dream....

So i tried to use my 'writer's license' to fix it up a little and make it a little more interesting.

And now that I've written all this down i think i might write a story based on it.

Tell me what you think.

Comments appreciated.

;)

Your embarrassed friend,

A.Q.

School...Ugh!!

Okay....here i go....

...

I used to love school (most of the time) but as i got older the more boring it got....

It's like the older you get the less creativity there is. I always learned better doing hands on things so i could experience it for myslef.

And now 9th grade....dont even get me started about 9th grade...

It's the most stressful, most boring, most pointless school year of my life. Classes have lost their excitement and have gained more stress and tests.

Sometimes during class I think that if i dont get up and do something soon i was going to explode!

I am going stir-crazy!!

And anyways i dont even like the way school systems work.

I think that if you go to school you should be able to choose what you want to learn that way you'll have lots of experience in one feild and it would allow you to explore other things as well.

Why do we have to learn about triganometry and how to find the length of a hypoteneuse if you're never gonne use it???

It's so retarded!

We could be learning more important things other than crap we're never gonna use!

And all the teachers must have suffered brain dammage and lost all their memories of being a kid because i guess they can't remember how freakin' stressful it was to have a project and quizzes and tests all on the same freaking day!

How much time do they think we have??

No more than they do

thats for sure

And why do they give us all the tests and quizzes and projects if its just more trouble for them and bothers them too??

School is such a confusing thing and annoying.

People always complain about how unhealthy our society can be and i think half of it is because of all the stress kids have to deal with!!

Well....

I kinda lost my edge ao i'm gonna stop while I'm ahead so...

see ya!

A.Q.

First in Awhile

I know this is a little late but i didn't get around to writing about it when it actually happened.

So this big event was...........

my school's first snow day in freakin' forever!!

I generally dont like the cold or snow(except the way it looks....So Pretty!! :D)

But i just LOVE it when it gives us a snowday!!

;)

It was kinda stupid tho'

It kinda had no point but hey! Who was I to complain about a day off of school.

The one thing that i didnt like about it was that it screwed everything up like schedule wise.

But that was it.

I still wasn't able to sleep in late though.... >.>'

:D

So even tho' the day was uneventful (altho' a bunch of friends and I tried to get together but it didnt work out..... >:( ) it was great to have a day off of school.

Which i want to rant about school so I'll start another post then....

See you soon!

(And Yes I'm avoiding my dream....I'm having a hard time remembering! ><>

So...see you soon!

;)

A.Q.

First Off...Comments

Okay i'm planning on doing a lot of posts today!

(Hopefully)

But first off I'd like to address all of my commenters...

Dear people who comment on my blog,

I LOVE YOU!!

Thank you so much!

I love that you take the time to read my blog and when you comment it makes me really happy!

I know it might sound a little stupid....

><

But i really appreciate it

Thanks!

:)

And even the people who go as anonymous (Even though the mystery of who it is kills me!(Big curiosity problem))I enjoy reading theirs too although i like to know who its coming from so i can properly thank them and even if its harsh (and so far none have been) sometimes the truth is better even though it can suck sometimes.

;)

But anyways i'm just babbling nonsense right now so I'd like to reply to the most recent comment that i got.

Its from an anonymous person(If you'd like to tell me who you are it'd be greatly appreciated! *hint hint* *nudge nudge* :P)

It was left under my "No longer an item" post.

don't worry girlfriend. If there's one thing I know...It's boys. if you like one really go after him. You'll find the right guy soon honey, I'm sure.

Thank you and I'm pretty sure I may have found the right one but I want to start this differently than my other relationship. I want to get to know him better and let him get to know me better.

;)

I have gotten more self confident from my past experiences(at least i hope ><) and maybe even a little bit more wiser. If that makes sense cause right now I'm just typing out the first things that pop into my head and most of the time its nonsense

:P

So relationships are big drama that I'd rather tune down for now and move onto another topic...

I've gotten some requests(mainly from one person ;P) to continue posting my dream.

I would just like to warn you that it's been awhile and i don't remember as much. Pieces will be missing and details will most likely be more vague than before so.....i hope it's still as good as before.

Anyways I think I'll leave this off here and begin trying to remember my vampire dream.

;)

So until next post...

A.Q.

||||Ghost of a Rose|||| Another Great Song...

Ghost of a Rose

The valley green was so serene

In the middle ran a stream so blue...

A maiden fair, in despair, once had met her true love there

and she told him...

She would say...

"Promise me , when you see, a white rose you'll think of me

I love you so,

Never let go,

I will be your ghost of a rose...

"Her eyes believed in mysteries

She would lay amongst the leaves of amber

Her spirit wild, heart of a child,

yet gentle still and quiet and mild and he loved her...

When she would say...

"Promise me , when you see, a white rose you'll think of me

I love you so,

Never let go,

I will be your ghost of a rose...

"When all was done, she turned to run

Dancing to the setting sun as he watched her

And ever more he thought he saw

A glimpse of her upon the moors forever

He'd hear her say...

"Promise me , when you see, a white rose you'll think of me

I love you so,

Never let go, I will be your ghost of a rose..."

Yay!

It's such a nice song!!

It calms me when i get all stressed out but some people dont like it so tell me what you think heres a link...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LZawYU0x1hw

Yep yep!

Heh....

I'll be back later to talk s'more.

:P

Luv ya guys!!

;)

~A.Q.

Caged Animal...

I've been feeling really trapped lately.

Like I'm stuck in a cage of monotonous normality.

I've brought this up slightly in other posts but I really need to do something before i go out of my mind!!

Every day is the same thing and I'm going insane over it.

I keep on repeating myself but i just don't know how to word it.

I feel like there should be something else but nothings there.

Like somethings missing.

I feel like if i just had another life a different personality everything would be more....amazing!

But then i feel ungrateful because i have one of the most amazing lives in the world and even though i complain a lot i really am thankful maybe not as much as i should be but I'm still thankful.

I feel like we've all had our wings clipped and now we can never see the unseeable, think the unthinkable, and experience the unimaginable.

It makes me so...frustrated!!

I need to do something!

Something needs to happen!!

And soon!

Before then i hope my mood improves cause i hate making those around me unhappy/annoyed/mad because of my crappy attitude and lousy mood.

So sorry in advance for my crappy mood.

Love ya guys forever and ever!!

;)

~A.Q.

A song to you...

I dedicate this song to all my buddies out there.

Thanks for being there for me!

I just hope i'm always there for you!

You’re not alone Olive

In a way, it’s all a matter of time

I will not worry for you,

You’ll be just fine

Take my thoughts with you,

and when you look behind

You will surely see a face that you recognize

You’re not alone, I’ll wait till the end of time

Open your mind,

Surely it’s plain to see

You’re not alone,

I’ll wait till the end of time for you

Open your mind,

Surely there’s time to be with me

It is the distance, that makes life a little hard

Two minds that once were close,

Now so many miles apart

I will not falter though,

I’ll hold on till you’re home

Safely back where you belong,

And see how our love has grown

You’re not alone,

I’ll wait till the end of time

Open your mind,

Surely it’s plain to see

You’re not alone,

I’ll wait till the end of time for you

Open your mind,

Surely there’s time to be with me

It sounds better than it reads now that i look at it so i'll send you a link to listen to.

But the message that i'm trying to get across is that youre not alone and i'll always be by your side.

Love ya guys!!

oh and heres the link...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dLeP051ZHtk

Just dont watch it...the music video kinda kills it.

Just listen....

:)

....

i think i might add lyrics i like on later posts....

and maybe put some links on 'em too....

oh and about the two crush thing it's only one now

email me if you want to know...

;)

See ya!

No longer an "item"

Sorry.
I probably should have posted this when it actually happened but....
I just didnt get around to it...
:)

Heh heh

I'm a procrastinator!

Anyways...

As you may know from the heading my boyfriend and I broke up.

It's nothing big and there was nothing to miss anyways.

I really didn't take it that hard and sometimes i think i should but...i don't.

I've moved on and now I'm just griping about school and how tired I am...

As usual!

:)

Heh...

Anyways...

I completely forgot what i was going to say....

But i do have a question...

Is it possible to have a crush on more than one person???

I kinda feel bad about it but its not love so....

I've been kinda bored lately...

Everything is so monotonous here...

I need some change before i go psycho!!

(More than i already am...)

I need adventure and danger...

RAaah!!

I'm going out of my mind!!!!

(Don't even say it...)

*sigh*

Oh well...

hope you guys have had great day(s)

I think i might go watch Beauty and the Beast now

I love beauty and the beast!!!!

I can really relate to Belle

WAAAHHH!!

I'm so high right now!

Okay I promise...this one IS cool!

I got a 42!

H.R Department

This is a real test given by the human relations department at many of the major corporations today. It's only 10 simple questions, so... Grab a pencil andpaper, keeping track of your answers. Ready?? Begin...


1. When do you feel your best?
(a) in the morning
(b) during the afternoon & early evening
(c) late at night

2. You usually walk
(a) fairly fast, with long steps
(b) fairly fast, with short, quick steps
(c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
(d) less fast, head down
(e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you
(a) stand with your arms folded
(b) have your hands clasped
(c) have one or both your hands on your hips
(d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
(e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smoothyour hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with
(a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
(b) your legs crossed
(c) your legs stretched out or straight
(d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with
(a) a big, appreciative laugh
(b) a laugh, but not a loud one
(c) a quiet chuckle
(d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you
(a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
(b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
(c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. Do you..(a) welcome the break
(b) feel extremely irritated
(c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
(a) red or orange
(b) black
(c) yellow or light blue
(d) green
(e) dark blue or purple
(f) white
(g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie
(a) stretched out on your back
(b) stretched out face down on your stomach
(c) on your side, slightly curled
(d) with your head on one arm
(e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are
(a) falling
(b) fighting or struggling
(c) searching for something or somebody
(d) flying or floating
(e) you usually have dreamless sleep
(f) your dreams are always pleasant



POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care" You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a naturalleader, who's quick to make decisions, though notalways the right ones. They see you as bold andadventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively,charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting;someone who's constantly in the center of attention,but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.