LAWLZ!!

Hello!!!!
I'm on the computer in the choir room!!
Go me!
It's 8:07 pm according to Lauren!!
We're at the musical right now!
Danielle is here and she told me to tell you that she's being annoying!!
So.....I'm just posting something really random to get the depressing stuff off my front page....
So...YEAH!!
CAST PARTY TONIGHT!!
WHOO!!!
Luv ya guys!
I'm starting to get over tired!!
BEWARE!!
GRAWR!!!
=3
lalalalala!!
I'm so freakin weird!!
im just typing random things right now except i cant really type right now!!
ok well im gonna go now so....
smooches!!
hugs!!!
luv ya guys!!
~A.Q.

All at Once...

What i did to Rudy one boring summer day....MOHAWK!!

XD

I figured that this would be the easiest way to tell everyone the news instead of having to repeat it over and over and over again.

I don't know how well i would have been able to do that....

Now before i tell you the news i want to ask you not to act any different when you see me next it won't help. No calls no nothing....

I deal with this kind of stuff by escaping and you guys are the ones that help me with that.

You keep me happy and laughing (usually... ;P). So thanks.

Anyways what i came here to say was....

Uggh! This is so damn hard!!!

I feel like saying it makes it real.

Well....I've gotta tell so here i go...

My dog, Rudy, is dead.

Yeah.....i already had the premonition that was going to happen like i said in my last post but i can't believe that it actually did

I mean, I still cant-don't want to believe it!

He was my dog since i was 4 and has been my buddy since then

I mean he was annoying at times...and smelled...a lot

but he was my buddy

this is the second dog that has died this school year i don't think i can handle another pet dying this year.

Well anyways Rudy didn't die he was put to sleep

He was suffering too much he only weighed 58 lbs. when he used to weigh a little more than me, 140 lbs.

He had masses in his stomach which is a cancerous type of thing and his intestines were blocked and some organ that started with a 'G' was inflamed, He was basically dying from the inside out.

The surgery costs 2000 and up and he might have been even worse off after it anyways.

So mom had to make the horrible decision of putting him to sleep.

I feel so bad for my mom though.

She needs the most support. My sister didn't help with the matter at all.

She was beyond the point of sobbing and was totally broken down.

She was pretty much blaming my mom and kept on asking why we couldn't basically go into debt to pay for the surgery that wasn't even going to make him better for sure.

When she finally left my mom just said,

"She's going to blame me forever."

It hurt me to hear my mom say that...to see that she was suffering so much.

i really wanted to beat some sense into my sister right then but then i also wanted to comfort mom. I chose the latter and hugged my mom for a long time.

*sigh*

Anyways....

He 'died' tuesday morning at 7:30.

And I've been doing okay since then but today i really don't feel good.

I have not been healthy lately.

I cant wait until rehearsal ends so i can get my life and health back. I've been feeling like I'm gonna pass out any second lately.

Don't get me wrong

I love rehearsal i really do

i just don't like what its doing to me...

So remember

Tomorrow-this basically never happened

So no hugs no calls no sniffles

just smiles and jokes and normality

well.....as normal as we can get

;)

Love ya guys!!!!

luv,

A.Q.

Long Time No See!!

Hiya!!

I know....

i haven't posted in forever but I'm posting now so don't kill me!!

><

Anyways.

I've been so tired lately and i dont know why.

I just cant seem to get enough rest.

I just hope i dont get sick from all this.

My head hurts a lot and my grades aren't doing too well from the lack of sleep either.

I got the proud grade of 67% in Math and my science grade went down...again. I didn't too well on an easy french test and i cant focus,think,speak clearly anymore.

I just.....ugh!

And I feel like I need a good cry because I'm missing the last two of my manga classes on Saturday. And I love it so much and i wont be able to say goodbye to them and give them hugs and it just sucks because i always loved going and it was something new and different and it helped with my drawings and encouraged my creativity and it was just a really fun realxing place to be and get away from everything.

*sigh*

On top of all that I'm not sure how much longer my dog is going to live.

He's lost too much weight too fast and he hasn't eaten anything and even when he drinks water it just comes right back up.

He's just not doing well....and I'm not sure whats going to happen.

And you know what really sucks?

I hate being down.

I dont like crying!

I want to laugh and have fun!

I want to be happy, i like being happy!!

And I'm finding that it's getting harder to lose myself in everyone and thing around me and enjoy the moment...which is what i used to do so easily before.

I dont want to become depressed again.

urgh!

There's too much drama and highschool!!

><

Ah well....

So....

hope you guys have been doing well!

Can't wait until the play huh?

:)

I'm listening to one of my favorite songs!

It's Once Upon a December from Anastasia

Ever heard it???

It's really good!

I love the movie too.

Well....

Some of us have to be to school bright and early tomorrow (><) (from 9am to 3 pm!!)

oh and go watch the video at the bottom

I love the song! and the singer is pretty cute too!!

;)

tee hee!

;)

A.Q.

the professional moodswinger

Mata Ashita

mata ashita

Sit Back Relax

Hihi everyone!

Well....

I dont really know why i came onto my blog.....

So i guess I'll just babble which i'm really good at doing.

Nonsense always comes out of my mouth so i apoligize to you all for having to put up with it and I thank you too.

I mean seriously you guys are amazing and i'm lucky to have you in my life

There's always some points in my life where i start to feel mysellf slip into my old depressed self and then that's when i get mad at myself for being so selfish.

What is there to be depressed about when i have a wonderful home, family, friends, an education, a fully working body, and i am totally spoiled.

I'm always afraid that people might think i'm ungrateful cause i complain a lot but it's a really bad habit of mine. And plus (especially around holidays) I get kinda scared and nervous when people give me stuff because i always feel so happy that i feel awkward and then i don't know how to express my thanks and it ends up coming out really....messed up sounding.

Like i'm ungrateful and don't really care but i do!

That's just the thing...I guess i am really bad at expressing my feelings

><

I'm really sorry too that you guys have to put up with such an ungrateful sounding friend but i want you to know that i really am grateful!

So...sorry

><

I hope you guys'll still put up with me.

But anyways....

I realized today that if i want to get along with my sister in anyway i have to completely stay away from her or else......murder is in the air.

We really have a hard time getting along.

I dont think it's a normal sibling rivalry either.

We're too different and i dont think there's much love between us.

We cant stand the sight of eachother for more than 30 minutes.

It's really ridiculous.

And i know it's really cruel of me but i guess i have a mean streak in me (that kinda scares me too...) but anyways....sometimes i think 'if only i was an only child' but i really don't know.

Would i be sad or happier as an only child?

I dont know but i always come away feeling guilty when i think that.

*sigh*

So...

I read a really great Beauty and the Beast fanfic on fanfiction.net called 'Take My Hand'

I really wish i could write as well as that...

You guys should go check it out...if you want to of course....

But I always wonder what my future is going to be like

Will I ever get better?

Will i be stuck in a boring job one where i sit at a desk all day doing paperwork and computer stuff?

Will my skills ever heighten?

Will i ever travel to all the places i want to?

What will the man i marrry be like?

Will we get divorced?

Will i drink alcohol?

There's so many questions that it makes my head spin

><

But i always gotta say to myself

"Hey! Wake up and pay attention to what's happening right now. You've gotta enjoy what you have while you got it. Life doesnt go on forever so you gotta get the most out of it while you're still in it. You gotta sit back. relax and enjoy the ride. This doesn't happen twice. Live life to its fullest and do what you want. Live it the way you want to and be the person you want to be."

I've gotta stop thinking about what's behind me and whats in front of me and start focusing on whats right here.

Or else i really will start taking things for granted.

Cause I am a slefish being who is a slave to her own instnat gratification.

I't hurts to admit it but i dont think i'm the greatest person on earth.

I find myself to be lazy, irresponsible annoying ungrateful selfish hypocrytical...the list goes on

And the sad part is I try to make myself better but i always succumb to my bad habits again.

Meh....i guess that's just me.

I'm not totally happy with it but not disgusted either.

Let's call it.....

Liveable.

;)

Until next post.

A.Q.

*hums* These are a few of my favorite things *hums*

Hey.

So I've decided to list a few things that i like, love, and am grateful for.

This might be a little long though and it doesn't even cover a hundredth of the things i like, love etc...

So here I go....

~Summer Rain

~Looking through old photo albums

~Making someone smile

~Sweet surprises

~Being Healthy

~Trying new things

~Doing things that i want, how i want, when i want to

~Doing things the way someone else wants

~When my friends are happy

~Adventure

~Smiles

~Freedom

~Dreams

~Hope

~Imagination

~Stories

~Love

~Romance

~Fantasy

~Thunderstorms

~Anime

~Freedom to believe in what i want

~An amazing Mom

~Listening to music so loud the house rattles

~The smell of spring

~The last day of school

~Singing in the shower

~Internet

~J-Pop

~Email

~Foods that remind me of summer in winter

~Fruit

~Great, Caring friends who i can always rely on ;)

~The excitement of wondering if your crush likes you back

~The walk to the coffee shop

~Summer nights

~Dancing in the rain

~Lying in the middle of the road at night with friends[the road was nice and warm :)]

~When the sun fills your room

~Designing school uniforms

~Gazing at the moon

~Watching Beauty and the Beast over and over again

~Making new buddies

~Playing silly games

~Being able to act like a little kid without being judged

~Laughing until i cant breathe

~Music that makes my heart flutter

~Sudden inspiration

~Hugs!

~Singing your heart out to Disney

~Listening to friends

~Knowing someone trusts me enough to ask advice and share a secret with me

~Satisfying my curiosity

~Giving and receiving hugs

~Kisses

~Being able to help

~Just being there

~Reading fanfictions and receiving reviews on my own

~iTunes and my iPod

~Falling in the snow

~Swimming in the summer

~Jumping into a pile of Fall leaves

~Sleepovers

~Being able to laugh at myself

~The adrenaline rush of my first roller coaster ride

~The smell of Fall

~Being able to pull out of depression

~Being able to be there for someone

~Being able to walk around the house in my bra ;)

~Hot showers

~Dancing in my room

~Musical and plays (especially being part of one)

~The word 'giggle'

~Pictures

~My manga class

~Otaku Club

~Being educated

~Different societies, cultures and beliefs

~Familiarity

~My Blog

~Making up names and words

~Nicknames!

~Getting spoiled

~Fresh Salad

~Pasta

~Family get-togethers

~Going places with friends

~deviantART

~Playing tag!

~Seeing the first sprout of the the seeds you planted

~Snowball fights

~Running

~Escape

~Waterfalls

~Standing knee-high in a stream on a summer day

~Being random

~Peace

~Chaos(hey, its a good change once in awhile)

~Riding the after school bus with friends

~Movies

~Favorite Teachers

~Surpassing your parents

~Knowing someone has a crush on you

~Watching a favorite childhood movie you haven't seen in awhile

~Winter mornings

~The first snowfall

~Finding out you have something in common with someone else

~Not being tied down

~Strong summer winds

~Using chalk till your knuckles scrape the sidewalk

~ Ice cold lemonade on a hot day

~Hot dogs at an amusement park

~Being so happy you cry

~Not knowing the future

~Bad boys ;)

~Danger

~Taking a risk and enjoying it

~Finding out that the way there was more exciting than the actual destination

~Having a cat sleep on the bed with you

~New Sights

~Happy songs!

~The boy next door

~Road Trips

~Staying up all night watching movies, eating junk, talking, playing truth or dare, giggling and fake snoring when you think the parents are coming

~The smell of the library

~Feeling responsible

~When someone thanks you

~Holding hands

~Cat kisses

~Changing into fluffy, clean pj's after a shower

~Hot cocoa after playing out in the snow

~Seeing my breath on the winter air

~Drawing pictures on fogged windows

~Doodling on math HW

~Being woken up by cat whiskers tickling your nose

~Snuggling

~The word 'huggles'

~Late night drawing

~Chewing on pen caps

~The smell of Wood Shop

~Fooling around with friends in the halls

~The morning at school before it's started

~Hangin' out at 'The Rock'

~Making pictures out of scribbles

~Having slippers that haven't been chewed on

~Kisses at the end of movies (most)

~Obsessions

~Dreaming of who you're going to marry

~Dances

~Being able to make someone else blush for once

~Making a drawing you're finally proud of

~Giving and receiving compliments

~Shiny things! *_* ;)

~Reading

~Writing

~Drawing

~Doing things right for once

~Meeting new people

~Japan

~Being happy

~Being the cause of other people's happiness

~Good Food

~Sushi

~Chinese Food

~Fortune Cookies

~Lucky numbers

~The colors blue, green, and black

~The mall

~Sharing fries with friends at the mall

~Ramen

~Finding out how to do things a different way

~The unexplained

~Being different

~Riding alone on the 'home' bus

~Doing something just for the sake of doing something

~Having soup when you're sick

~Finding songs that make you want to dance

~Rooting for both teams

~Having fun in gym

~Figuring out that it's harder to list things you dislike than like

;)

Well that's it for now even though i barely scratched the surface.

So tata for now m'lovelies!

Just kiddin'! ;)

See ya!

A.Q.