All at Once...

What i did to Rudy one boring summer day....MOHAWK!!

XD

I figured that this would be the easiest way to tell everyone the news instead of having to repeat it over and over and over again.

I don't know how well i would have been able to do that....

Now before i tell you the news i want to ask you not to act any different when you see me next it won't help. No calls no nothing....

I deal with this kind of stuff by escaping and you guys are the ones that help me with that.

You keep me happy and laughing (usually... ;P). So thanks.

Anyways what i came here to say was....

Uggh! This is so damn hard!!!

I feel like saying it makes it real.

Well....I've gotta tell so here i go...

My dog, Rudy, is dead.

Yeah.....i already had the premonition that was going to happen like i said in my last post but i can't believe that it actually did

I mean, I still cant-don't want to believe it!

He was my dog since i was 4 and has been my buddy since then

I mean he was annoying at times...and smelled...a lot

but he was my buddy

this is the second dog that has died this school year i don't think i can handle another pet dying this year.

Well anyways Rudy didn't die he was put to sleep

He was suffering too much he only weighed 58 lbs. when he used to weigh a little more than me, 140 lbs.

He had masses in his stomach which is a cancerous type of thing and his intestines were blocked and some organ that started with a 'G' was inflamed, He was basically dying from the inside out.

The surgery costs 2000 and up and he might have been even worse off after it anyways.

So mom had to make the horrible decision of putting him to sleep.

I feel so bad for my mom though.

She needs the most support. My sister didn't help with the matter at all.

She was beyond the point of sobbing and was totally broken down.

She was pretty much blaming my mom and kept on asking why we couldn't basically go into debt to pay for the surgery that wasn't even going to make him better for sure.

When she finally left my mom just said,

"She's going to blame me forever."

It hurt me to hear my mom say that...to see that she was suffering so much.

i really wanted to beat some sense into my sister right then but then i also wanted to comfort mom. I chose the latter and hugged my mom for a long time.

*sigh*

Anyways....

He 'died' tuesday morning at 7:30.

And I've been doing okay since then but today i really don't feel good.

I have not been healthy lately.

I cant wait until rehearsal ends so i can get my life and health back. I've been feeling like I'm gonna pass out any second lately.

Don't get me wrong

I love rehearsal i really do

i just don't like what its doing to me...

So remember

Tomorrow-this basically never happened

So no hugs no calls no sniffles

just smiles and jokes and normality

well.....as normal as we can get

;)

Love ya guys!!!!

luv,

A.Q.