Mata Ashita

mata ashita

Sit Back Relax

Hihi everyone!

Well....

I dont really know why i came onto my blog.....

So i guess I'll just babble which i'm really good at doing.

Nonsense always comes out of my mouth so i apoligize to you all for having to put up with it and I thank you too.

I mean seriously you guys are amazing and i'm lucky to have you in my life

There's always some points in my life where i start to feel mysellf slip into my old depressed self and then that's when i get mad at myself for being so selfish.

What is there to be depressed about when i have a wonderful home, family, friends, an education, a fully working body, and i am totally spoiled.

I'm always afraid that people might think i'm ungrateful cause i complain a lot but it's a really bad habit of mine. And plus (especially around holidays) I get kinda scared and nervous when people give me stuff because i always feel so happy that i feel awkward and then i don't know how to express my thanks and it ends up coming out really....messed up sounding.

Like i'm ungrateful and don't really care but i do!

That's just the thing...I guess i am really bad at expressing my feelings

><

I'm really sorry too that you guys have to put up with such an ungrateful sounding friend but i want you to know that i really am grateful!

So...sorry

><

I hope you guys'll still put up with me.

But anyways....

I realized today that if i want to get along with my sister in anyway i have to completely stay away from her or else......murder is in the air.

We really have a hard time getting along.

I dont think it's a normal sibling rivalry either.

We're too different and i dont think there's much love between us.

We cant stand the sight of eachother for more than 30 minutes.

It's really ridiculous.

And i know it's really cruel of me but i guess i have a mean streak in me (that kinda scares me too...) but anyways....sometimes i think 'if only i was an only child' but i really don't know.

Would i be sad or happier as an only child?

I dont know but i always come away feeling guilty when i think that.

*sigh*

So...

I read a really great Beauty and the Beast fanfic on fanfiction.net called 'Take My Hand'

I really wish i could write as well as that...

You guys should go check it out...if you want to of course....

But I always wonder what my future is going to be like

Will I ever get better?

Will i be stuck in a boring job one where i sit at a desk all day doing paperwork and computer stuff?

Will my skills ever heighten?

Will i ever travel to all the places i want to?

What will the man i marrry be like?

Will we get divorced?

Will i drink alcohol?

There's so many questions that it makes my head spin

><

But i always gotta say to myself

"Hey! Wake up and pay attention to what's happening right now. You've gotta enjoy what you have while you got it. Life doesnt go on forever so you gotta get the most out of it while you're still in it. You gotta sit back. relax and enjoy the ride. This doesn't happen twice. Live life to its fullest and do what you want. Live it the way you want to and be the person you want to be."

I've gotta stop thinking about what's behind me and whats in front of me and start focusing on whats right here.

Or else i really will start taking things for granted.

Cause I am a slefish being who is a slave to her own instnat gratification.

I't hurts to admit it but i dont think i'm the greatest person on earth.

I find myself to be lazy, irresponsible annoying ungrateful selfish hypocrytical...the list goes on

And the sad part is I try to make myself better but i always succumb to my bad habits again.

Meh....i guess that's just me.

I'm not totally happy with it but not disgusted either.

Let's call it.....

Liveable.

;)

Until next post.

A.Q.

*hums* These are a few of my favorite things *hums*

Hey.

So I've decided to list a few things that i like, love, and am grateful for.

This might be a little long though and it doesn't even cover a hundredth of the things i like, love etc...

So here I go....

~Summer Rain

~Looking through old photo albums

~Making someone smile

~Sweet surprises

~Being Healthy

~Trying new things

~Doing things that i want, how i want, when i want to

~Doing things the way someone else wants

~When my friends are happy

~Adventure

~Smiles

~Freedom

~Dreams

~Hope

~Imagination

~Stories

~Love

~Romance

~Fantasy

~Thunderstorms

~Anime

~Freedom to believe in what i want

~An amazing Mom

~Listening to music so loud the house rattles

~The smell of spring

~The last day of school

~Singing in the shower

~Internet

~J-Pop

~Email

~Foods that remind me of summer in winter

~Fruit

~Great, Caring friends who i can always rely on ;)

~The excitement of wondering if your crush likes you back

~The walk to the coffee shop

~Summer nights

~Dancing in the rain

~Lying in the middle of the road at night with friends[the road was nice and warm :)]

~When the sun fills your room

~Designing school uniforms

~Gazing at the moon

~Watching Beauty and the Beast over and over again

~Making new buddies

~Playing silly games

~Being able to act like a little kid without being judged

~Laughing until i cant breathe

~Music that makes my heart flutter

~Sudden inspiration

~Hugs!

~Singing your heart out to Disney

~Listening to friends

~Knowing someone trusts me enough to ask advice and share a secret with me

~Satisfying my curiosity

~Giving and receiving hugs

~Kisses

~Being able to help

~Just being there

~Reading fanfictions and receiving reviews on my own

~iTunes and my iPod

~Falling in the snow

~Swimming in the summer

~Jumping into a pile of Fall leaves

~Sleepovers

~Being able to laugh at myself

~The adrenaline rush of my first roller coaster ride

~The smell of Fall

~Being able to pull out of depression

~Being able to be there for someone

~Being able to walk around the house in my bra ;)

~Hot showers

~Dancing in my room

~Musical and plays (especially being part of one)

~The word 'giggle'

~Pictures

~My manga class

~Otaku Club

~Being educated

~Different societies, cultures and beliefs

~Familiarity

~My Blog

~Making up names and words

~Nicknames!

~Getting spoiled

~Fresh Salad

~Pasta

~Family get-togethers

~Going places with friends

~deviantART

~Playing tag!

~Seeing the first sprout of the the seeds you planted

~Snowball fights

~Running

~Escape

~Waterfalls

~Standing knee-high in a stream on a summer day

~Being random

~Peace

~Chaos(hey, its a good change once in awhile)

~Riding the after school bus with friends

~Movies

~Favorite Teachers

~Surpassing your parents

~Knowing someone has a crush on you

~Watching a favorite childhood movie you haven't seen in awhile

~Winter mornings

~The first snowfall

~Finding out you have something in common with someone else

~Not being tied down

~Strong summer winds

~Using chalk till your knuckles scrape the sidewalk

~ Ice cold lemonade on a hot day

~Hot dogs at an amusement park

~Being so happy you cry

~Not knowing the future

~Bad boys ;)

~Danger

~Taking a risk and enjoying it

~Finding out that the way there was more exciting than the actual destination

~Having a cat sleep on the bed with you

~New Sights

~Happy songs!

~The boy next door

~Road Trips

~Staying up all night watching movies, eating junk, talking, playing truth or dare, giggling and fake snoring when you think the parents are coming

~The smell of the library

~Feeling responsible

~When someone thanks you

~Holding hands

~Cat kisses

~Changing into fluffy, clean pj's after a shower

~Hot cocoa after playing out in the snow

~Seeing my breath on the winter air

~Drawing pictures on fogged windows

~Doodling on math HW

~Being woken up by cat whiskers tickling your nose

~Snuggling

~The word 'huggles'

~Late night drawing

~Chewing on pen caps

~The smell of Wood Shop

~Fooling around with friends in the halls

~The morning at school before it's started

~Hangin' out at 'The Rock'

~Making pictures out of scribbles

~Having slippers that haven't been chewed on

~Kisses at the end of movies (most)

~Obsessions

~Dreaming of who you're going to marry

~Dances

~Being able to make someone else blush for once

~Making a drawing you're finally proud of

~Giving and receiving compliments

~Shiny things! *_* ;)

~Reading

~Writing

~Drawing

~Doing things right for once

~Meeting new people

~Japan

~Being happy

~Being the cause of other people's happiness

~Good Food

~Sushi

~Chinese Food

~Fortune Cookies

~Lucky numbers

~The colors blue, green, and black

~The mall

~Sharing fries with friends at the mall

~Ramen

~Finding out how to do things a different way

~The unexplained

~Being different

~Riding alone on the 'home' bus

~Doing something just for the sake of doing something

~Having soup when you're sick

~Finding songs that make you want to dance

~Rooting for both teams

~Having fun in gym

~Figuring out that it's harder to list things you dislike than like

;)

Well that's it for now even though i barely scratched the surface.

So tata for now m'lovelies!

Just kiddin'! ;)

See ya!

A.Q.

Criticize Me!

~~~~Just a random Pretty picture~~~~


Okay everyone!!


Since you guys all rock and are so nice i want to find out how I can be a better person!


You guys have to comment anonymously and tell me what i do that bugs you and what i dont do that bugs you cause i want to be as awesome as you guys are too me!


So dont worry about being nice


I wont know who says it and i wont cry or get mad i want it harsh and straight to the point!


So criticize away


If you were mad at me(or are) take it out on me now!


I'm ready for whatever comes my way!


And dont forget this is so i can become a better friend and person!


Now go be mean!!


If thats possible for you guys!


;)


A.Q.

Musical Time!!

So....my school is putting on a musical!

And...

I had the guts to actually audition for it(Go me!!)

I'm just a modern(A 'nice' word for an extra...) but i get to wear the cool costumes

*squeal*

I'm really excited and even thought this is old news(XD) I just had rehearsal today and things are started to come together(slowly but surely)

I'm really nervous though cause everythings so hectic and i lost my music(Crap!><) and i feel like i might mess up cause i dont know what im supposed to be doing...

I'm just getting really highstrung cause everythings coming at me in one sudden rush and as long as i can hold on to something i think i can make it through......

........

wow....that was kinda....deep....

woah...creepy!!

XD

Anyways i just wanted to spout out how happy i am being in a musical!

I mean musicals are my life(not really but i really love 'em!) and they pick up my spirits.

I have yet to find that perfect musical though....the one where everythings the way it should be

Love and angst and tears and laughter and action and killing and...yeah....the whole shebang!!

I always get pumped up talking about musicals and plays too!!

I think next post I'll start listing plays/musicals i have seen...

yeah!

Well...

I'm gonna go.....do something.....

I'm hungry....

I think I'll have Ramen tonight since my mom's working late.....

~~~Yummmmm!! Ramen!! How come that looks so good though!!???~~~

My sister can fend for herself

>:]

Hope you guys have good food for dinner too!

;)

A.Q

A Day of Love!

One of my favorite holidays is coming up!


Valentines Day!

~~~"Be my Valentine..."~~~




But....


I'm not prepared at all.......


I totally forgot it was this week


><


So if you guys dont get anything this Valentines day from me


its not cause i dont care about you!


Its because....I'm stupid!!


><


I cant believe i forgot!!


><


Please forgive me!!


I'll try to do my best to get gifts for everyone before Valentines day is over!


Valentines is the day where i get to show that i love you guys more than other days but i totally forgot!!


><


Waaah!!


I'm gonna go cry in a corner and mope!!!


...


Oh and heres another song for you guys!!


It's: Best Friend


By: Toybox





It's a happy song!!





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95rOHDHx5B4&mode=related&search=





Happy Valentines Day guys!!!


Thanks for being there for me even when i was a pest(which is quite often... XD)


Love Ya!!


;)