The Weather

"You should stick to two topics - the weather and your health."

That was a quote from an amazing musical called My Fair Lady starring Audrey Hepburn. So anyway, I mainly came here because my blog told me that it was feeling neglected and suggested that it feed it some extra good words. Yes, my blog and I do correspond with each other. As you can see the title of this entry is "The Weather" and thats because I'm going to talk about the weather. :)
When I woke up this morning at 3 am I had glanced at my alarm clock and then almost unconsciously I wished that today would be windy. Well, have you been outside? Its a beautifully windy day....well at least it was up until about ten minutes ago. Right now there is a fantastic thunderstorm going on and im just in a great mood. :)
Ooh....just listen to that rain. :)
The one bad thing about rain is that rain means a flooded basement. Crap! I have laundry down there...oh well, at least its in the drier...it'll be a wrinkled mess when i go and collect it but I can just give it a little fluff and everything should be alright.
Ooh! Another great topic to talk about is my ultimate obsession and it goes by the name of Twilight!!! <3
Yes, I'm sure you all are sick and tired of hearing me obsess and croon over what I call 'the best book ever written in the history of the universe'... But! I have to tell you that i truly do love the book and not just because it had the hottest man ever created walking among its pages but also because Stephenie Meyer's writing is some of the best I've ever read. Her words flow and her dialogue is witty and its easy to relate to Bella in so many ways. It's also gives a new outlook on vampires and all the legends and stories about them and not only is it an amazing vampire-romance but its a spectacular and sweet and simple romance...highschool lovers almost. If you took away the fact that Edward is a vampire you'd see that their relationship is as ingenous as any relationship you'll ever find. I love this novel so much and its the only thing I've really been this obsessed over before....i mean i definitely get obsessive over quite a few things but this is the only one thats ever lasted through all the years. TWILIGHT = LIFE!!! <3
So I think I've finished for today. I hope my blogs tummy is filled with delicious goodness now :3
Love you guys!
A.Q.

A New Level of Squeedom!!

I dont know why but I'm in a fantabulously good mood today!!
Its not like it was a real special day or anything...in fact it was kinda a sucky day now that i think about it...XD
This morning i had to chase a cat who was having a stand-off with my cat and making those creepy hissy/growlee noises... >< And today was also school picture day >< I always dread pictures >< Ive yet to have a good school photo...>>'
My smiles always look so fake...
So anyway, despite today being a really crappy day i think it was the people that made it better :)
Have you ever talked to someone you've never talked to before and have a really good conversation with them? It was one of those kind of things. It was just an awesome day!! I laughed a lot and that always makes me feel so happy i wanna cry ><
especially lately...ive been feeling so stressed and every moment i felt like i was gonna burst into tears or have a strong urge to break something. But today i just felt free and happy and...well i was just so indescribebly happy!! I dont even know how to put it into words!! XD
But anyways i did something i've never done before today...>>'
I talked back to a teacher. Yes, I am what you could call a teacher's pet...its more like i dont want to have people whom i respect being disappointed in me but anyway...
We're doing archery in P.E. and we were just notching our arrows to the bow when a bee comes up and hits me in the corner of my eye...now i HATE bees and any normal person's reaction would be to jump back right? Well thats exactly what i did and apparently my coach didnt like the fact that i jumped back with a bow in my hand...
I understand where she's coming from--teachers have got to be extra careful about our safety and stuff but my hand wasnt on the string and my arrow was ponted to the ground--so when she yelled at me i was so upset that the words just popped out of my mouth with ease. She was talking about how i was swinging my bow around and maybe i was but i dont remember "swinging it around" and i told her in a not so nice tone (the one i usually use when im annoyed with my sister) that my arrow was pointed at the ground and of course she told me off again but i was just really upset.
Some of you may take the side of the coach but whatever. I have no repsect for that women and i believe that she should not be a coach--she has a crappy atitude and she seems like a "gym princess" and i hate those knds of people...she should be a personal trainer or maybe a cosmetics girl or whatever but she does not belong in a highschool teaching teenagers PE. She has not one spec of fun in her...i hate those people...and her smile never really reaches her eyes...but Im not gonna let her ruin my day!! *nyaaah* XP
So anyways im a very happy camper right now and i just wanted to share that fact with the people i love! *squee* :3
LOVE YOU GUYS!!
A.Q.

NANA

I've just watched what I'd like to call one of the best movies I have ever seen! A lot of you may not like it because it is a foreign film but there's something about foreign films I love. NANA is based off of a manga by Ai Yazawa that I read in my subscriptions of Shojo Beat.
Here's a plot summary from Wikipedia since I suck at summaries >x<:

Nana Osaki is a punk singer who wants to debut as soon as possible to leave her ex-boyfriend, Ren Honjo, behind. Nana was the lead vocalist in their old band with Ren, and they lived together as lovers. When Ren was offered a chance to debut in Tokyo as a replacement member of the popular band TRAPNEST (TRANES for short), Nana chooses to cultivate her own band, BLACK STONES (BLAST for short) instead.

Nana Komatsu, the other Nana, is called Hachi as she has strong mental characteristics that resemble a little puppy. ("Hachikō" is the name of a famous dog in Japan, while, appropriately, "hachi" is the word for "eight" in Japanese, while "nana" is the word for "seven".) With a habit of falling in love at first sight, Hachi has always depended on other people to help her. When her friends and then boyfriend leave for Tokyo, she decide to join them a year later after she saved enough money.

Nana and Hachi meet in a train by chance, both on their way to Tokyo, and after a string of coincidences, they come to live together in an apartment numbered 707. Despite having contrasting characters and ideals, the Nanas like and respect each other.

While the BLACK STONES begin to gain popularity at live gigs, other issues need resolving, especially in the areas of romance. The story of Nana revolves heavily on the romance and relationships of the two characters as one seeks fame and recognition while the other seeks love and happiness.

I really love this movie and seriously recommend it to everyone (although its not for every one...) I pulled some clips off of youtube from the movie. The first one is the very beginning of NANA. The second one is Nana O.'s band, the Black Stones performing. The third one is probably my favorite part in the whole movie and I cried during it but I recommend watching the whole movie in order to get the full effect of the clip.
So...I just wanted to share a new obsession of mine :)
Lotsa Love,
A.Q.


The Beginning:




The Black Stones:




Farewell to Love:

Mindless Ramblings

Hullo!
Sorry I havent posted in awhile its just i havent felt....inspired enought to write a post but i'm bored and tired so its a perfect combination for the making of a post! :)
So I'm going on vacation a week from tomorrow! We're driving down to North Carolina (an 11/14 hour trip...) and we have to bring our cousin with us because he's visiting a friend down there and my aunt and uncle can only pay for a one way plane ticket. It kinda stinks though because my sister and I were looking forward to finally having the car for ourselves for the first time but now we have to share again (i sound like a little brat dont i?) I keep trying to think of the brightside to it all and all i can think of is 'Thank god for rest stops!'
I've been saving up a lot of money to bring on this trip but i also want to set aside money for this DVD set. It's the second season of my favorite J-drama, Hana Yori Dango and I love the Japanese actor who plays Tsukasa Domyoji in it. (I have a thing for hot asian guys XD)
I've watched the whole first season on youtube and crunchyroll but neither have the second season which looks the best! ><
I want it so bad. And then The next book in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer is coming out on August 7 and I definately need that!!!! I'm one the original and biggest fans! I dont want to sound like im bragging because i hate how people either get competitive or hateful when you brag but....
I had read the book when it was on the 'new book shelf' at our public library then i bought it and read it again. And i was the one who introduced it to the freshman school by bringing it up in books and bagels and spreading the word! So im very excited for when Eclipse comes out but im gonna be on vacation then so....I get to read it then...
Well....I've kinda run out of ideas so...
Sorry for the short post...
With all my love
A.Q.

~From the dusty pages of my(rarely shown)pessimistic side~

Hey Guys.
Sorry I haven't posted in a long while.....but I never made the promise to update every week or anything like that...I said I'd try though but I'm not doing a good job with that am I?
So, anyways...
I hope everyone is having an amazing fun-filled summer! My summer has been okay...the best thing about it is that my sister and I have been getting along surprisingly well this summer and I'd like to share (I know one person who's going to dance when she hears this and one friend at the least who will most likely groan when she reads this...) that I've taken interest in the ever popular Gilmore Girls. Yes. I said Gilmore Girls. You may dance and groan away now but I'm not saying that I love it. It tends to get tedious and boring at points and they always speak the same rushed words through the whole show. What keeps me watching is the fact that it brings me closer to my sister and the amazing drama that occurs once in awhile. I'm a huge fan a drama-you could say I'm an addict-I love when nothing goes the way someone wants it to-bring on the tears!-There's nothing like a good heartrending scene or heated argument--those are the kinda things that keep me interested--I'm such a sick person...
So, last Tuesday, I had a dentist appointment with a new dentist because our last dentist was crappy. Normally on Tuesdays we go with our Dad but lately we haven't. We seem to be seeing him less and less and I feel so overwhelmingly guilty that I actually enjoy not going. I feel so less stressed and I don't have to choke every time one of them pulls out a cigarette. I should be able to breath properly and feel comfortable around my own father. Me and my sister shouldn't be suffering just because he's too dumb to figure out that he's killing himself with every cigarette he puts in his mouth and afraid to actually quit smoking for his good health(or whats left of it...) and ours. He's our father he should be taking responsibility and straighten himself out and fix his messed up life that he's so conveniently thrown himself into. And through all this Dad bashing that I do I still love this man who is in no shape to be a father to me or even less my sister. I still love him through all his violent temper tantrums, blatant disregard of how his choices affect us and the rest of his family, him forcing religion onto us, and even through the screen of acrid smoke we have to get through just to hug him-I still love him. He has lost everything from me except my love but a relationship between a father and a daughter cannot live in just love. There has to be respect and loyalty and trust too-which he has yet to try to gain. I figure that I can handle this all pretty well(I think) but my sister doesn't need such a loser of a father in her life. She tends to be emotional and stubborn and has a temper too but she doesn't need a father that blows up at her because she blew up too. That's not parenthood. That's immaturity. I can't help feeling guilty every time I talk bad about my dad the first bad thing that leaves my mouth about him always seems to come attached to all the rest and at the end all I get is an empty feeling in my stomach and the pressure of guilt weighing down on my shoulders. Thank god for my broad shoulders, huh? :)
I also wanted to come here to talk about me. "Yes, in fact, the world does revolve around me."
Just kidding. I know for a fact that I'm one of the least likely people ever to have a world revolve around them. :) But that's just the thing. If you were to have a world revolve around you, you would have to have left a mark, done something that touched the hearts of millions. That is exactly what I want to do. I want people to remember me for something; not just friends and family who have an unconditional obligation not to forget me. I want strangers who know almost nothing about me to recognize my name or picture or what I did. I want people to say generations from now to say, "Oh I remember her..." they don't have to remember what I did or how I lived or who I really am, all I want is some recognition from them; no matter how empty it is. Because when you die, that's all. Poof. You're gone. There's no lingering living memory of you. You're dead and you're not coming back. People will grieve of course-they'll go to your funeral and cry and talk about all your good qualities and funny anecdotes from when you were younger and more rebellious...but then the next day people are back at work continuing on with their busy lives. You're past news. You were last weeks obituary now being used as packing material. You are no more and people eventually have to move on. No, you won't be totally gone but you'll be like an old photo album that gets pulled out once in awhile for airing or a laugh but those few people who read the obituary for "fun" would read yours and shake their head in empathy and whisper quietly to themselves "Poor man/woman..." before moving on to the other dozens of obituaries and yours will soon be forgotten by that stranger who reads dozens of obituaries a day. Death in this world seems so abrupt and final. The end of all ends. That's why I want to leave my mark on this world. So I can pass onto the next world easily. I want to touch the hearts of millions so that as I pass I can hope that one day in some distant land a world will revolve around me. I'm selfish but that's who I am. I want to be remembered.
Next topic I wanted to cover is once again about me but this is my blog so, rightfully, it should and can be about me.
No matter what I still believe in what I want. Everyone thinks my beliefs are ridiculous and far fetched. You can deny that and I thank you because I know you're just looking after me and don't want my feelings to get hurt. But this is what I believe in.
All my life I've believed in magic but not the kind that involves fairy dust or cauldrons and wands. I believe in pure magic. The magic of miracles the magic of imagination the magic of a kind deed done without thought of repayment or used as leverage. I believe there's magic. I believe that there are things that we ignorant humans know nothing of. I believe there are other worlds out there delicately connected to ours with a thinly spun portal. The kind that are so hard to get to if you're looking for it but you tend to drop into unexpectedly either when your life is going fantastically or when you're running out of options. I believe that there are beings out there that are out of the ordinary. Yes. I believe there are Faery folk who live right next door and can be a friendly coworker at your job. Or there are some that are there but we simply do not possess the power to see them or their world. They live in our walls and watch us cry alone in our rooms or watch us laugh together at the dinner table. They are there even if you don't know-even if you refuse to believe. But I believe-I believe in all the things that little children believe in-the kind of things that adults laugh at quietly and pat their kids' heads for. I believe stories in books are real. I believe that humans are not what keeps this world thriving but it's the unknown. It's the things going on behind the scenes that our people think are the cause of them and their powerful positions in the world of business and the food chain. But the fact is we are just another species on this planet there are others who are farther above us than we can ever hope to be. I believe in everything that seems impossible-everything that's thought of as fiction/fantasy/ridiculous. That's what I believe in. My beliefs are not easy on me either. There are times, so many times, that I think about how ridiculous I'm being. I wonder if I'm ever going to grow up and face reality but the problem is I don't know the difference between reality and unreality. There's a fine line between dreams and the waking world that I don't see and am in no rush to. Who even knows for certain if the state I'm typing this in is really just another dream world or if it's our actual world. Who knows if we even if we have one world or if we travel in our "dreams" to all the other nonsensical worlds where things always seem to make more sense than they do in this world. You may find me immature and childish with my belief in fairy tales and legends but that's just me. I do not choose to believe in this I just do. I believe that everything happens for a reason but the reason isn't always there. Around others who believe differently I will always remain quiet and deny everything I believe in but on my own, in my room, at peace, that's when i apologize quietly to no one in particular for not standing by my beliefs but I am not a strong person no matter what I or anyone else think. It's hard that wherever you go whoever you turn to you know in your heart that they truly do not believe and some even scorn what you believe and hold so dear. I'm not asking for pity points and I probably sound all "woe-is-me" but I will never ever stop believing in what I believe in. My life isn't hard-if anything I'm spoiled rotten-but my life is what I make it so it's mine to mend and mold too...even if it doesn't fit to others' standards or my ways of thinking seem ridiculously preachy and nonsensical they seem. I live my life the way I want-that's what I'd like to believe at least.

You know, usually I come away from my blog feeling relieved because I've gotten some stuff off my chest but this time I still feel heavy because I like to be liked and respected by my friends and family but now that I've shared all these stupid irrelevant thoughts I have no idea how to face the world or you. Everyone keeps their unkind thoughts hidden way deep inside of them and some rare people don't even have them. But most do including me which I sometimes share. But the biggest thing that gets me is when I know someone is hurt or mad or disgusted at/with me and they bury it deep down inside them and continue on as if they're fine. That's what hurts me. When someone who I've hurt in some way is still so kind as to not blow up at me or breakdown in in front of me because they don't want to hurt me. The fact that people can be so kind actually hurts sometimes. It's not a bad kind of hurt but it's not a good one either...I dunno...
I just keep rambling.
I feel weird now....
I'm gonna go take a shower-that'll make me feel better-either that or I'll go eat.
You know how I love food! ;)

Here's me hoping you all live your life the way you want!
I love you sincerely and with all my heart.
~ A.Q.

Forgive And Forget---Live Your Life The Way You Want

Okay this is a short blurb that i quickly typed onto the computer a few days ago...i haven't read over it at all so i don't know what it sounds like so yeah....>>'

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“We…” She began, choking out her words, “We shouldn’t see each other anymore…we can’t see each other…I want this to end…” He stood rooted to the spot in shock.
“I…I don’t understand…” He managed to squeeze out from his tight throat.
“What’s not to understand, Edward?!” She cried in desperation. “I’m breaking up with you!” The words tore at both of the young couple’s hearts.
“But why?!” He yelled back with equal force. “Everything was going great....It was perfect… I thought we were-you were happy…together…with me.” The young man force dwindled as the end of his sentence came nearer.
“Well, maybe I wasn’t happy with you! Maybe everyday was a living hell just breathing the air around you and feeling your touch on my skin! Maybe I hated you!” The young girl’s emotions were swirling into an angry cyclone of frustration and deep unending despair. Frustrated tears coursed down her pale face as the barbed words flew into the air tearing half of her heart out along with it. The words hit Edward as if he had just a blow to the face. His handsome face went slack, his broad shoulders hung low and he stood silent and shocked staring brokenly at the girl he loved. The fragile girl looked through her curtain of tears at her used-to-be love her firm resolution wavered and almost broke completely, “Edward, I…I…” She reached a hand out to him but she stopped shaking her head and dropping her hand her tears flowed anew. “Goodbye Edward.” She said her dull. Then with a shaky turn she put one foot forward and ran.
Edward watched her go until she disappeared around the corner of the school’s brick wall.
“Mio…” he muttered. He looked down at his legs and urged them to move, to chase after but they felt as if they were tied down by lead weights. He thought of her crying face and the way her eyes looked so sad-so full of despair-as if her heart were breaking. But why would her heart be breaking? She was the one breaki-
He stopped mid-thought a revelation dawning on him and he felt his legs break free of the illusionary weights as they carried him to his companion. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do if he couldn’t find her but he didn’t have to worry because Mio had not made any farther than around the corner. Sobs racked her body and her shoulders heaved a teary stain spread through her sleeves as her blonde head hid in the cradle of her arms wrapped tightly around her knees.
“Why?1 Why?1” he heard her muffled cries. His head was swirling in confusion. He stepped nearer,
“Mio?” He said softly. The young girl whipped her head up her eyes red and swollen from the cascade of tears, her nose red. “Edward…” she whispered. “No!” She cried again. She hurriedly scrambled to her feet and was ready to run again but not before Edward had caught her in a fierce hug. The girl struggled shouting and kicking in his arms but he held on resolutely. She finally collapsed into his chest digging into the fabric with her fingers and burying her head in his chest. “It’s not fair!” she cried her chest heaving from her struggle and sobs. Edward comforted her and began smoothing her golden locks.
“Shh….shh…” he hushed, “What’s not fair?” he inquired softly.
“It’s not fair…” she cried once more only with less passion and force. She was exhausted and emotionally drained, she continued on despite the fact, “Why!?” she questioned no one in particular. “Why do I get to be so happy?! Why, when everyone around me is suffering and unhappy?! Why am I so lucky!!?? I don’t deserve this happiness!” “Mio! Mio!” Edward chided lovingly. “Bad stuff is going to happen no matter where you go and everyone, even the people you hold close, is going to suffer more than once in their lifetime. Even though you try to protect them from all the unhappiness in the world it’s bound to catch hold of them, but they’ll recover, because they have people who love and care for them. And just because they’re unhappy doesn’t mean you have to be too. You’ve gone through rough spots in your life too. Now it’s your time to be happy. Whoever is up there looking after you has decided that you’ve deserved a break and plus. Do you really want to make me unhappy too? I’m a very selfish person and would like to stay happy but that means that you have to be happy and with me all the time.” Edward smiled deviously as Mio looked up at him a small smile hovering about her lips.
“I…I think you’re right. Thank you.”
Edward kissed her forehead and wiped her tears away gently with his thumb.
“And since I’m a selfish person too I want you to give me a real kiss.” Mio smiled just as deviously as Edward. Their shadows stretched out across the pavement as they embraced in a passionate kiss. The sun sank behind them casting their figures in shadows as it was swallowed up by the fiery clouds of its farewell.
The young heartfelt couple broke away breathless from their long, heated kiss.
They gazed into each other’s eyes the sky lit up with the flame of the sun’s passion behind them and the twinkling stars ahead of them in an undecided blanket of darkness.
“Edward?” Mio spoke softly lulled by the love that filled the air with an enveloping warmth.
“Yes.” He replied wrapping his arms around her waist and picked her up in his arms.
She wrapped her arms around his neck still staring into his gorgeous eyes.
“I love you.” She stated simply but with so much passion and truth that it made their hearts skip a beat. Edward chuckled softly.
“I know. And I love you too, with all my being.”
And as they walked home in the shadows of the setting sun, they shared another tender kiss.
Their love filled the air, the sky, and their selves.

****Endnote: This story was really meant to have a different theme but it still ended up being romantic because I just cant resist.
But that’s beside the point. What I wanted to share through this small blurb is that there are going to be rough points in your life when you feel like you’ll never pull out of that pit of despair that you’ve sunken into. There’ll be a time when you feel like you’ll never be able to smile a real smile or stop crying every day you come home, a time where it seems like theirs no hope and there is no point in living. And you’ll fill up with self-loathing for everything stupid or hurtful you’ve done. But you have to remember everyone has gone and will go through times where they feel like it’s the end. You are not alone no matter what you think. There is definitely always someone who cares for you and wants you to be happy, and I’m not talking about someone like your true love or anything, I’m talking about your friends and family because even though you may think that they all hate you or are mad at you or just don’t care the truth is they really do. Even if it’s the person you’re having a huge argument with, deep down they really care about you, love you. You should know because that’s how you, yourself feels. You may not want to admit but it’s true you still care no matter how much you don’t want to, love is an emotion all humans feel.
I want you all to know is that I’ve gone through crap like this and have even come close to contemplating suicide but I knew that was the cowardly out and I’m too stubborn of a person to give up that easy. And even if you’re not thinking of suicide don’t give up on being happy because everyone has a right to be happy. This is hard, really hard, to do but you have to stop focusing on the negatives and start thinking of all the good things that have happened to you and all the people who really love you. You’re friends and acquaintances your parents and siblings your aunts and uncles your grandparents strangers you’ve offered a helping hand too and they received it greatfully.
Being unhappy isn’t fun but it’s bound to happen you cant control that. But you can control how long it lasts and how strong you are once you pulled out of it.
Remember that I love you too. Even if I don’t know you my heart reaches out to you too. We can all relate. We’ve all felt that unending despair. We all have the same emotions. And it’s up to all of us to be happy and help others be happy too.
My love goes out to you.
Love, me.
Love yourself.

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So anyways...

I'm a happy camper right now!

I got my favorite magazine today in the mail

The weather is gorgeous!

I had a wonderful walk home

And my dad hasn't called yet

I don't mean to brag but right now....

I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL ALIVE!!!

I just feel so great!

It's refreshing!

I've generally always been a happy person but im just ecstatic right now!

You could probably see the stars in my eyes! >///<

Anyways I love you guys!

I really do!

Hugs and Kisses!!

*squee*

~A.Q.

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